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herrsignor
The Occident

Real Name:
Jeff Beauvoir
Member Since:
November 06, 2010

About Me

Spent my twenties hacking away at a music career in Seattle, during which time I released a couple self-produced albums, got some national radio airplay (charting on the College Music Journal), and contributed music to MTV's 'The Real World'. But what the heck, man, I'm not a rock star, I'm a writer. When not plying my day job in the concert/theatre biz, I write for the web, produce short films and waste time at Cracked.com. With my feature script 'Branded' I was a finalist in a handful of script competitions and won grand prize for thrillers in the New York Screenplay Contest. By Jove I will get a feature film off the ground if I can ever find my way out of this Officer Big Mac climb-in jail playground.

(Please note that I endeavor to write on filthy topics using clean language. No f-explosions. No invoking the names of deities. This is partly based on my personal Sunny Jim values but is also an aesthetic choice. So if you find any off color language in my articles, it was most likely added by the Cracked editors. Mind you, I am not complaining. It is my own choice to contribute articles to a website that's nasty as it wanna be. And I do generally like the Cracked editors' writing style and great ear for comedy. I just want my friends to know where the gutter bombs are coming from. Peace!)

6 Popular Children's Books That Teach Kids Horrible Lessons

The cutesy, cartoony little picture books you find in the beanbag section of the library aren't actively teaching kids to idolize crack dealers or mock the disabled, right? Actually, some of the biggest names in the industry are practically seeding our children's brains with impending personality disorders.

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6 Classic Movies You Didn't Know Were Remakes

A lack of creativity in the entertainment world is nothing new -- people have been doing adaptations, reboots and remakes since the first stories were told. What you may not have realized, however, is that some of the great landmark motion pictures were themselves just remakes of originals that nobody remembers.

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