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This will be a fun thought exercise.
It occurred to me that perhaps I was a good candidate for never drinking again. Since then, here's the weird stuff I've learned.
[huge, huge applause, triumphant gunshots]
Everyone on 'Friends' is a sociopath.
People were psychotically insane back in the day.
Apparently the real goal of prom is to make everyone else at the catering hall think the dress-wearer's father is some sort of all-powerful interplanetary oligarch with limitless wealth and space capabilities.
Owning five to 10 goldfish is an unparalleled joy -- as long as you haven't actually felt joy since last April.
Looking at a woman wearing the chemically-modified corpses of several foxes can really build your confidence.