Why? Why do you care? You don't know me! You won't ever touch me, offer to bathe my feet, or buy me chocolate! We will never go for a sunny summer stroll through the poppy-fields of Oz, we will never know King Midas's pain, and we will never experience the magnificence of the great white whale's mythical midnight flight, so why do you care enough to read about me? Please, just let me go. You're better off without my scathingly ridiculous influence in your life. Move on, I beg of you. Save yourself! For I... I'm a... Heartbreaker! Dream maker! Love taker! Don't you mess around with me! (Fade into a black hole of wailing guitars and Pat Benatar haircuts...)
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