Avatar

Maphon

My hair is a smooth shade of auburn, and on the right hour of a summer day, the light bounces upon it with such radiance that it is beyond words.

I once crapped myself in 3rd grade. My solution was to just clean myself up and throw my underwear away. It is something that has worked countless times afterwards, and I continually thank my younger self for it.

While showering, I try to save time and brush my teeth while I lather my supple body with liquid soap, Warm Vanilla Extract from Bath and Body Works. Depending on my beverage intake the night before, a third task can be achieved. Peeing.

I Like To Multi-Task.

I cried when I saw the movie Life is Beautiful. It was a sensational film, which transcended language barriers to become a movie that spoke from somewhere much more primordial, the heart.

Whenever I need to spell the word BEAUTIFUL, I must spell out the first three letters in my head. B-E-A-Utiful. Not only does it help my spelling, but when I say it aloud, it really puts an emphasis on that which I am referring to as beautiful.

I shook Roger Ebert's hand at the Chicago premier of The Kite Runner.

I haven't washed my hand in a good year.

Forgot Password?