Real Name: DoglovingJim

Member Since: May 27th, 2014

About Me:
Join me and many other classic Cracked commenters on, I need more people to hear my dog stories.

Now on twitter @Jim_Island

Lots of things can be told of a man simply by the quotes he keeps.

"A dog is a reflection of his master."

"A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones."

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."

"My eyes have seen many things in the darkness of the night. Some of which you never saw as you held my leash so tight. I protected you, and as a team we feared none.
My ears have heard the sounds of things that made you freeze at night. You trusted me and used my pointed ears like battle sights. I protected you, and as a team we feared none.
Over the years many have held my leash. Several of which held it loose and a few who held it tight. No matter how you chose to keep me, I protected you and as a team we feared none.
I have heard the highest praise and felt the heaviest correction. Regardless the tone of your voice or the weight of your correction, I protected you, and as a team we feared none.
When evil crossed our path, I never backed down! I will fight to the end. My loyalty to you is unconditional. I protected you, and as a team we feared none.
Many years have passed. My muzzle is now full of gray. When it is time to face my final battle let me keep my pride. Know that I loved no other place than that of by your side. When it is all said and done, remember the battles that we've won. Never forget, I protected you, and as a team we feared none!"

"The stately German Shepherd
Protective, bold and smart,
Looked into my eyes one day
And quickly stole my heart.
Courageous and endearing,
A favorite of its breed,
So proud and yet so loving,
A steadfast friend indeed.
Caring disposition,
Faithful to the core-
If you have a Shepherd's love,
You cannot want for more."

"The greatest fear dogs know is the fear that you will not come back when you go out the door without them."

"I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no other source."

"The more one gets to know of men, the more one values dogs."

"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him."

"The victors are the ones who write history"

"You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war"

"The truth is not for all men, but only for those who seek it."

"Thou, Lord, in the beginning hast laid the foundation of the earth ;
and the heavens are the works of thine hands.
They shall perish, but thou remainest :
and they all shall wax old as doth a garment ;
and as a vesture shalt thou fold them up,
and they shall be changed :
but thou art the same,
and thy years shall not fail."

"For the fate of the sons of men and the fate of beasts is the same.
As one dies so dies the other;
indeed, they all have the same breath and there is no advantage for man over beast, for all is vanity.
All go to the same place. All came from the dust and all return to the dust."

"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace."

"There are a lot of things I've been blamed for that I never did. But then there are a lot of things I did and never got caught at."

"If guns kill people, then I can blame mispelled words on my pencil."

"No law ever prevented a crime."

"An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it."

"A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns."

"Feeling important makes one heavy, clumsy and vain. To be a warrior one needs to be light and fluid."

"He who makes a beast of himself, rids himself of the pain of being human"

"To make a form of gunpowder one must make an mixture of sulfur, charcoal, and potassium nitrate (saltpeter)
70% nitrate, 14% charcoal, and 16% sulfur;"

"Even a large ship will sink if it leaves a small leak unchecked."

"I don't trust society to protect us, I have no intention of placing my fate in the hands of men whose only qualification is that they managed to con a block of people to vote for them."

"The world's biggest problem is that intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence."

"People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit."

"Be polite, honor your family and help others whenever you can."

-Sarcasmo "Is he being sarcastic or does he really hate me?"
-Hierobulle "Finds scamming old people funny"
-NameOGiberish "Likes kicking puppies"
-erfer666 "Thinks dogs stink"
-ribbonsofnight "Thinks dogs are stupid"
-Hatchback "Snitches get stitches"