You probably noticed a few 'Pros' in there because yep, these are the upgraded versions of these apps. Boo-yah.

The meaning of 'Cyber Monday' was never fully explained to us, so we just thought it was when you got good deals on cyber stuff.

Who's got hundreds of dollars to blow on a wristwatch that tells you what to do all the time?

It’s like those pull-out porches you see on trailers but better.

O, glorious gods of capitalism, bequeath us your sweet, sweet gifts!

Express your patriotism with a nice turkey breast and those most American pastimes: shopping and gaming!

Your boss doesn’t need to see the troublingly vast collection of My Little Ponies on the shelf behind you.

This ain’t your mom’s Nintendo.

There will be a time when this is all over and we'll finally be able to go beyond the borders of our country, let alone our apartment.

Life is fleeting. You may as well spend it playing with black diamond knives.