If your snaps and stories still come out weird with all this gear, maybe consider accounting.

Nothing says 'I've made it' like an inkless pen with its own woodblock stand.

You're still on the hook to find things to do while you're on your own.

Fireworks shows and parades are likely cancelled, but you can still grill a mean burger and engage in that most American pastime: shopping.

Top-quality tech can be yours for a price that couldn’t buy you a used car instead. Well, maybe a beat-up Ford Fiesta or something.

We're so tired.

Think of it as a new fashion accessory that happens to prevent mass death.

All of your friends are already obsessed with Animal Crossing anyway; might as well turnip it up.

“What a cool and useful person,” everyone will say when you’re allowed to have parties again.

Imagine being able to whine “Alexaaaa, I’m hoooootttttt,” and her just taking care of it for you. She’s so thoughtful.