This is "Rad Repeatin' Tarzan," and as you can see, this dude just won't stop repeatin'. When you move Tarzan's hand, he starts absolutely cranking it. I have no clue what the designer's ideas were as to what else he could be doing? And guess what? If that is what they were going for, they were probably actually on to something. If Tarzan were a real thing, a feral dude raised in the wild by apes, I'd bet that 90% of his day would be consumed by beating the hell out of his meat. He'd watch his ape buds do it, try it, and then basically never stop pounding that jungle hog. What the hell else is there to do out there? Poor Jane, though. Stumbling on this fucking scene. "Alright, so ... I mean, I found this cute guy in the woods or whatever. Like, he's super buff and hot. He is also absurdly good at finding vines all over the place and connecting them perfectly to each other to make a cross-jungle traversal system. Like, wow. It's very impressive. But there is one thing about it. Just one. He straight-up jerks off all day long. Just absolutely killing his dick. Over and over again. This Tarzan guy has a problem."
Like Rocket Cock Punisher above, these are the kinds of toys that make me feel as if nobody ever played with them before they got sent out. There is absolutely no way that this even had one pair of eyes on it before it went into production. Throw two people in a room with that thing, and they're going to turn to each other at the same time and say, "Hey, does that look like Tarzan's just absolutely beating the hell out of his dick?" What's even better is that when you press the jerk off button, Tarzan does his classic yell alongside it. I want to see the extended cut, where after Tarzan finally comes, that bestial, manly, proud yell turns into a ... "Oh, god. Oh, goddamn. I'm disgusting. Jesus. Look at me. I was the king of the jungle. Christ. I need to clean this up and go do something with my day."