This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Nobody likes working out. Okay, maybe some people do, but they're crazy. Most of us need some incentive to get out and exercise, so we've rounded up a bunch of gadgets that'll be all like "Hey. Hey, Mike. Play with meeee. You know you want toooo." (Your name is Mike in this scenario and, statistically speaking, likely reality.) They're so fun, you might forget you're doing something good for you, like the hidden broccoli of fitness.
You might not necessarily think of pretending to be a Tolkien elf as a workout, but archery will kick your butt as well as an Orc's, and the Accubow is the world's first virtual archery trainer. All you have to do is download the app and use the high-powered bow to shoot at virtual targets. You'll get so caught up in your Hobbiton fantasy that you won't even notice what a great upper-body workout it is until your arms are flapping uselessly at your sides later.
It's a fact of biology that every human loves swinging axes, but let's be honest, you should probably stay away from the real stuff. THE CHOPPER (or ZE CHOPPA) has an internal, adjustable weight that creates tension every time you chop, working your core and upper body while you perform your most enthusiastic rendition of "The Lumberjack Song."
Ab workouts hurt. The ABXCORE tries to take off some of the strain by providing a virtual trainer with the machine to motivate you as you work your core. Think of it like Alexa as a drill sergeant.
Not a fan of the "I pick things up, I put them down" musclehead aesthetic of weight training? This resistance band kit lets you do hundreds of exercises from the comfort of your home and in much funner colors than any weight bench.
Track your steps, distance traveled, calories burned, heart rate, and more with this feature-rich smart watch that costs a whole lot less than a Fitbit and doesn't look so embarrassingly futuristic. We have jobs, people.
What's that? You thought there was no piece of equipment to help you get a chiseled jawline? Well, think again. Just bite down on this guy and you'll be on your way to heartthrob status faster than you can say "any Batman."
Okay, so this one isn't equipment, but it is a great substitute for the gym during a pandemic or any time in the future when you don't want to deal with people (basically, always). Get live and on-demand access to hundreds of fun training videos and programs in just about any style you want without even putting on pants.
Created by bodybuilding legend Ron Williams, this sliding machine is like putting your arms on a luge, which, it turns out, is great for sculpting your chest in addition to making you go "Wheeeee!"
Some professional exercise people say kettlebells are the best equipment you can use for a full-body workout. Put that to the test with the BEACHBELL, a fillable kettlebell that will also remind you of your favorite beach toys. Just add water or sand to add up to 35 pounds.
Rowing machines offer an incredible full-body workout, but you're probably not going down to the gym or the river anytime soon. Bring the rowboat into your home with this high-powered, adjustable machine. Trust us, it works way better than the bathtub.