Beer From a Super Soaker? No. Champagne From the Bottle.

This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.

At a certain time in our lives, we all have to move on from shotgunning Bud Lights and spiking them down staircases. Some of us make the transition shortly after leaving college, others just shy of retirement. Wherever you are in your journey, allow us to offer a more fun way to party like a rock star. (Or, more accurately, a World Series winner.)

The Bubbly Blaster(R) Champagne Sprayer does exactly what the name suggests. It turns a champagne bottle into a squirt gun. Like, look how much fun all these "adults" are having.

Whether you're celebrating and want to cause a controlled ruckus or you're just a saucy little gremlin, the Bubbly Blaster(R) will provide you with all the carbonated fun you never knew you desperately wanted. This innovative device attaches to any champagne bottle and fires a stream up to 30 feet when you pull the trigger like a fancy Rambo. It's designed to be easy to wield with either one or two hands so you could even go Edward Champhands on it while dousing your friends in a champagne stream. It even works as a bottle stopper when you're not using it so you can squirt it at other people again later when you're less tired.

Oh, and the champagne is still drinkable. Shoot it into mouths if you want; that's cool, too. Right now, it's 10% off at $89.99. At that price, you can't afford not to be whimsically posh.