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38 Crazy Rules Schools Apparently Enforce... For Reasons?

By:: Brian C. Miller; Cracked Writers

June 17, 2022

38 Crazy Rules Schools Apparently Enforce... For Reasons?

School, we guess, has some pretty good reasons for existing-- It's generally a pretty good idea that we spend time in our youth learning everything from how blocks work to much more advanced number adding… Or something. Despite this, the adults in our lives also seem to use school as an excuse to enforce seemingly arcane rulings for reasons that only make sense to them.

Below are some of the craziest, most extreme examples of crazy rules that Cracked readers have encountered during their schooling days. Questioning a teacher in Philosophy? That's a paddlin'. Hair grown just a smidge too long? You better believe that's a paddlin'. Dare to doodle in the margins of your test paper? Buckle up, because you're about to be paddled into outer space, where you can go to Martian school or something instead.

It's crazy rules like these that make us grateful we're done with school… A now only have to deal with our employers strange rules instead.

38 Maybe calm down a little, huh?

I had a teacher who would not allow students to arrive after she did. NO Whomever arrived after her was not allowed to enter the class. ENTRY Needless to say, a group of students failed that class for that specific reason. GRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

37 Time of the Month

My school gave students five minutes after Phys. Ed. to take a shower. Unless it was your TIME OF THE MONTH_ then you had to yell WIPE OFF! CRACKED.COM and walk past everyone to tend to your feminine hygiene product instead. — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

36 Maybe not the best seating strategy

CRACKED.COM SMART DUMB KIDS KIDS My second-grade teacher divided the class into two groups: the smart kids sat on one side and the dumb kids sat on the other. Communication between the two sides was strictly forbidden! — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

35 At least she admitted it?

CRACKED.COM - MEI work . After realizing what ... NATURAL I a terrible job she did Determiny placin physics teaching the Maker . ---- - MAS i material, my physics - seu When 4 and Corticlet K teacher turned the - ... - - Pear - physical Endre) sure final into not an open note test but an International open internet test — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

34 Absolutely No Crowns!

... TELL US NOW. NO CROWNS Duane D. shares, I remember in elementary school, we were making Valentine's cards, and I drew a king of hearts. It was a heart with a crown on his head and the crown had five points which apparently is the same amount as the Latin Kings gang symbol. I was interrogated by the counselor and principal and kept asking where I've seen that symbol. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

33 Keep that hair pure! Puuuuuuure!

... TELL US NOW. HAIR-BRAINED RULES Cameron C. shares, Guys' hair couldn't be touching their back collar (collared shirts required), couldn't touch their ears, and couldn't go past their eyebrows. When people started spiking their hair to get around those rules, they banned hair gel. Oh, and one time they expelled a boy for wearing an earring... that they saw during summer break! CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

32 Alright, this rules (though maybe not great for learning?)

My school helped students cheat on aptitude tests. 1. They'd give us printouts of the answers. 2. They'd distract the test proctors SO we could copy B each other's answers. A C Touch point if the answer is: OA OB 3. They'd teach us hand signals for helping each other cheat. В С A E F D CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

31 Oh No

My 2nd grade teacher was really old and so were her teaching methods. The first thing she did was to inform the left-handed kids that from now on they would be writing properly with their right hand. She went as far as to tie their left hands to their chairs so they would be forced to do everything the right way. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

30 Paint it black

... TELL US NOW. KEEP IT COLORFUL Dorothy А. shares, Goth was becoming a thing at the time, and it scared a bunch of the older teachers and staf,f so our school made a rule to ban US from wearing all black. half the school arranged to wear all black and march in and dare them to kick us all out. Needless to say it was a short-lived rule! CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

29 No hair on the collar

... TELL US NOW. KEEP IT SHORT Brett В. shares, Went to a 'Christian' middle school, if you were male your hair could not touch the collar of your uniform. Let mine go for a while, got told I had to get it cut. My response was Jesus had long hair, to which they replied Jesus doesn't run this school. I said I guess he does not, got me a few days suspension... CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

28 Carry those books!

... TELL US NOW. NO BACKPACKS Robert W. tells us, Middle school we couldn't have backpacks in the hallways between classes, we had to carry all of our books. Kids got their books dumped all the time. In junior high and high school we were allowed backpacks. It made no sense. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

27 Be worse at drawing, obviously

... TELL US NOW. TOO GOOD AT DRAWING Kelly M. shares an incident that happened with their son, Не was supposed to draw a picture of a soldiers from colonial time. Apparently, according to the school, he made the gun the soldier was holding look 'too modern. 'The school suspended him for a week and even sent the freaking cops to my house because, according to them, the picture looked gang-related. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

26 Teacher Kept it Cool

On September 11, 2001, I was in my middle school science class when the terror attacks occurred. - - The New York Times U.S. ATTACKED My teacher, using his HLIACKED JETS DESTROY TWIN TOWERS adult wisdom and AND HIT PENTAGON IN DAY OF TERROR Provided Vega in Kast LOVE - mit mature judgement, - - - - I - chose to tell us it was the start of WWIII and we all might die soon. Considering we were all already terrified, it didn't go over well. A lot of kids started crying hysterically and had to go home early. The — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

25 Group punishment

My fourth-grade teacher believed in group punishment, so if one student misbehaved, she would punish the entire class by making US write 500 sentences for homework, which happened almost every day in one month! CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

24 Women aren't "suited to the rigors"

In 11th grade, I was homeschooled through a Christian curriculum. The Health textbook stated that women should not work outside the home because the female body is not suited to rigors, and that some women had even grown beards from the stress of having a career. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

23 NIPPLE PINCH TIME

One of my elementary school teachers, a professed religious man, would fiercely pinch a student's nipple as a form of punishment. No matter how insignificant the infraction, even answering a question incorrectly, meant Nipple Pinch Time! GRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

22 Good o' freeze after recess

... TELL US NOW. FREEZE! Rachel P. says, In elementary school, once recess ended the teacher would blow a whistle and every kid on the play yard would have to freeze. Not just stop running, LITERALLY freeze in motion. Once a kid dropped a ball and got sent to the principal's office. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

21 Can't have these kids too hydrated

... TELL US NOW. WATER FOUNTAIN MONITOR Paul P. shares, I have a friend that told me there was a gulp monitor at the drinking fountains. Gulps were counted. Casey E. had a similar experience, In elementary school, after recess a lunch aide would stand and count to five for each kid to get a drink. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

20 Honestly sounds better than class

... TELL US NOW. LOCKED OUT Daniel G. explains, In my high school, when the bell rang to start class, teachers were instructed to close the doors to classrooms and lock them. The tardy students would then be 'swept' into the cafeteria where they sat for the period, missing the day's material for that class. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

19 We Must Have Clean Margins!

... TELL US NOW. NO SCRIBBLES Tim В. shares, I lost points on an assignment one time because I scribbled off to the side to get my pen to work. The teacher even called me up to the front of the class to ask me what it was. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

18 Standing on Tables

My teacher loved to punish his students by telling them to stand on the tables. Не didn't care that we had a ceiling fan that hung low. To avoid getting our heads chopped off was our own responsibility. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

17 No questions in Philosophy

During his very first lecture, one of my college professors warned the class that he would not hesitate to give us a с if we dared to challenge his views or ask him a dumb question. ut Не was teaching us Philosophy, the one subject that is supposed to encourage debates and discussions. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

16 No No No No No No

CENTRAL LINN HIGH SCHOOL This is the high school I went to. A teacher/coach there gave a pep talk about a coach who had licked and healed players' wounds so that they could rejoin the game. After the talk, he bent down and licked a cut on a track athlete's knee Не made the news. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

15 Chopping Wood

I went to a one room school in a small mountain town in Montana for 8th grade . The school was К-8. GRACKED.COM During the winter, if anyone got in trouble, they'd have to go outside, with no coat, and chop wood for the fireplace. For 20 minutes. Montana gets COLD during the winter. — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

14 Go Down Slides The Right Way!

... TELL US NOW. SHOCKINGLY DUMB Craig P. says, We got after-school detention for sliding up the hall, building static electricity charge, and zapping class members. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

13 Walk the Way We Tell You!

... TELL US NOW. CLOCKWISE ONLY Lisa L. explains, In middle school the classroom part of the building was a long rectangle - classes on the outside, center hallway, bathrooms in the center. Between periods when changing classrooms, we had to walk the hallways in a clockwise direction only. So even if your classroom was one door to the right, you had to walk all the way around the building. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

12 You have no pocket authority here!

... TELL US NOW. PICKY POCKETS Ron H. tells us, In 8th grade, 1969, we were not allowed to wear patch pockets. Mom had me tell a teacher, 'When you buy my son's clothes, you can tell him what to wear.' CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

11 Extreme Gym Clothes Rules

... TELL US NOW. EM-BARE-ASSING Matt S. tells us, In primary school we had to do physical education in our underwear if you forgot your PE kit. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

10 A Paddlin' for a D

I WENT TO AN ALL-BOYS PRIVATE CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL. MY SENIOR YEAR ECONOMICS TEACHER HAD AN INTERESTING GRADING METHOD. IF YOU FAILED A QUIZ OR A TEST, НЕ WOULD PADDLE YOU, AND THEN ELEVATE YOUR GRADE TO A D. I PASSED THE CLASS. I STILL CAN'T BALANCE A DAMN CHECK BOOK TO SAVE MY LIFE. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

9 Catholic Nude Swimming

Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

8 "Because I said so"

At my junior high school in Virginia, physically bullying other students was completely allowed. But if you put your hands in front of your face to protect yourself from a beating, you could be suspended for fighting. If we dared to ask the principal why, he always responded the same way: Because I said so. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

7 Hey, whipping is probably a bad idea?

The yoga instructor in my school used to carry a whistle with a whip at the other end. If we ever could not hold a pose long enough, he would whip the back of our thighs. We were 12 year olds and wore shorts. GRAGKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

6 Absolutely No Warm Legs

... TELL US NOW. COLD LEGS Clare А. tells us, It was the 80s, and leg warmers were banned in my primary school. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

5 Teachers & Jeans

... TELL US NOW. NO JEANS FOR TEACHERS Kelly P. explains, As a teacher right now, in many districts, you are only allowed to wear jeans on Fridays. I can make a pair of jeans look very professional with the other attire I pair with it, and my students have never suffered when I wear jeans. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 19 Bonkers Rules Schools Actually Enforced

4 Oh no, dry shave

Facial hair was strictly prohibited at my high school. Violators were forced to dry shave with a used, single blade razor. GRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

3 Adults sticking their fingers in their ears and going "la la la la la la"

My college did not allow any discussions regarding politics, homosexuality or gender issues. The failure to comply would lead to expulsion. I had heard of many cases of students getting expelled for posting things related to politics on social media or discussing such issues in their assignments. One of them was my friend. She was expelled for making a documentary on homosexuality as her final-year project. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

2 Yeah, this was probably effective

The day after the Columbine High School Massacre my high school's administration pulled all of the alternative kids -counterculture students, like punks and metalheads, as well as all of the out LGBT* students - out of class to ask them if they had plans to imitate what had happened in Colorado. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

1 Oh.. Oh No

A geography teacher was giving a class on the Middle East, its people, and their religions. Upon mentioning Judaism, she remarked matter-of-factly, Judaism is the worship of Judas. CRACKED.COM — Source: The 22 Most Awful Rules And Lessons From Your School Days

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