Saturday Night Live: 15 ‘Weekend Update’ Jokes For The Ages

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Saturday Night Live: 15 ‘Weekend Update’ Jokes For The Ages

The first thing we need to do is establish some common ground. To enjoy this list of interesting facts you will have to be open to learning something about the world that you did not already know. That means that you must at least be familiar with the most basic tenets of the scientific method, and if you're not, I encourage you to read up. Once you have done that, you'll probably want to know what kind of “fact” this is. It's a fact, but it's also a story, because the history of science is full of people doing really interesting stuff in order to test their hypotheses. And it's a list, because that's what this is. It's a collection of strange, fascinating, funny, and occasionally bizarre things. Some of these stories are well-known; some are not. I enjoy this list of interesting facts as much as anyone, and I'm happy to share it. I hope that you find it just as entertaining. That should be enough of an introduction for now. Let's begin!

Norm's OJ Simpson Jokes

Norm's OJ Simpson Jokes Norm loved going after O.J. Simpson, which is rumored to be the reason he was let go from the show. After the O.J. was announced inno- cent Norm famously made the joke Well it's official, murder is legal in the state of California. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

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David Spade's Hollywood Minute Puppet

David Spade's Hollywood Minute Puppet In a response to Eddie Murphy's backlash to a Hollywood minute joke, Spade stopped doing the seg- ment. However, a smaller, wooden version of himself, carried on the re- sponsibility. Spade (with little pup- pet voice): Bobby Brown recently spent five days in jail. Two for drunk driving and three for his new al- bum. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

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Cecily Strong Blizzard Party

Cecily Strong Blizzard Party DO SUZZARD The silliness of this joke gives us pleasure which knows no bounds. NJ Governor Chris Christie on Tuesday was sworn into his second term. However, the massive blizzard forced the cancellation of his inauguration reception. Odd, since a Chris Christie party usually starts with a massive Blizzard. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

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David Spade on Eddie Murphy

David Spade on Eddie Murphy After a few bombed movies Spade joked about Eddie Murphy on the Hollywood Minute. Look kids, a falling star! Make a wish. This gets the hall of fame treatment because Murphy famously called Spade afterward and emotionally destroyed/scared the hell out of him. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

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Norm on Women Drivers

Norm on Women Drivers MINOR FATAL ACCIDENTS CRASHES NO OPINION 21% NO OPINION 10% MEN WOMEN MEN WOMEN 78% 13% 26% 55% Here's one that you can share with your uncle who loves to talk about snowflakes and the Liberal army. Who are safer drivers, men or women? Well according to a new survey, 55 percent of adults feel that women are most re- sponsible for minor fender benders, while 78 blame men for most fatal crashes. please note that the percentages in these pie graphs do not add up to 100 percent because the math was done by a

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Tina Fey on Bush

Tina Fey on Bush Tina Fey's seat on Update and Bush's presidency coinciding is one of the top 10 anime crossovers of all time. The Pentagon announced yesterday that US and British planes had struck Iraqi air defense sites south of Bagh- dad. Defense officials say the Presi- dent wanted to send a clear message to the Iraqi government that he knows exactly where Iraq is. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

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Dennis Miller and Kevin Nealon “All Drug Olympics”

Dennis Miller and Kevin Nealon All Drug Olympics : Why does Weekend Up- date not send correspon- dents into the field when it can be this good? Nealon and Miller cut to the All Drug Olympics where all drugs are not only allowed, but encouraged. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

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Jimmy Fallon On Michael Jackson

Jimmy Fallon On Míchael Jackson 2001 was a great year for Michael Jack- son jokes and people who love the movie Shallow Hal. Michael Jackson arrived in London this week on crutches after breaking his foot in a quote 'com- mon household accident' in his Never- land Ranch. It could have happened to anyone, Jackson told a reporter. 'See my llama and I were chasing Liz Taylor around the Elephant Man's bones and I tripped on my cape. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

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Norm Macdonald on the Clintons

Norm Macdonald on the Clintons IAMS in the Club Club.com Norm loved going after the Clin- tons, and that well stayed full until the day he died. At the White House this week, President Clinton officially came out against same sex marriages. What's more, the president said he is not too crazy about opposite sex marriages ei- ther. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

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Colin Jost Jokes That Were Clearly Written By Michael Che.

Colin Jost Jokes That Were Clearly Written By Michael Che. Their swapping jokes segment keeps things light and is a great ex- ample of their chemistry. Jost: The bat used by Babe Ruth to hit his 500th home-run was auctioned off this week. Also, I'll be auctioning off the bat I use to keep my neighbor- hood white. Clearly the first time he saw this joke (and reading it out loud on live TV), he couldn't help but just shake his head. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW

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