12 Ways The Real World Is Like A Cheesy Fantasy Novel

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PICTOFACT

13 Myths Created And Spread By The Marketing Industry

"Military grade" actually kind of means "bottom of the barrel."

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15 Trivia Tidbits About Ace Ventura

The only one talking out of their ass here is Ace

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‘Simpsons’ Showrunner Matt Selman Has Read Your Mean Tweets

‘You guys can cancel the Simpsons anytime you want: just don’t watch it’

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18 Fictional Characters Who Suffered So Much, It’s A Relief They Aren’t Real

Thank god they don’t really exist. We couldn’t bear (their) pain

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34 Lil History Facts For a Lil History Snack

By:: Cracked Writers; Brian C. Miller

April 03, 2022

34 Lil History Facts For a Lil History Snack

What do you do when you're between big ol' meals of knowledge and learning, but you're feeling your brain tummy begin to rumble for a little snack? Good news! We're here with a tray full of individually wrapped little snacks of trivia to sate your hungry brain. Did you know that Stalin planned a weird Ocean's Eleven style scheme for Mao's poop when they first met? Or that safety standards basically all but didn't exist during The Manhattan Project? Or what about the real reason why potatoes were banned in the United Kingdom for over 100 freaking years?

All these facts and more are below-- Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it, so obviously it's important to read a bunch of fun lil facts about history while you're sitting on the toilet or waiting in line at the grocery store. Look at you, doing your part now!

34 Louis Louis, ooo-oooh.

During the French Revolution, they caught Louis XVI because GNAT his face was on money. IBRE 17 NES s ASSIGNATS DES FRANCOIS NAT par le décr vvil 1790, sanctionné LOUISXVL.ROT m CU SMDF While running to the countryside, Louis and Marie Antoinette (both disguised) were stopped by a postmaster who thought he recognized Marie. Once he compared the guy with her to a 50-franc note, he was sure. Pretty soon, they were arrested, then beheaded. CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

33 Mao's Poop

At Mao and Stalin's first meeting, the USSR stole Mao's poop. On Stalin's personal orders, the sewage pipes in the house where the two met were rerouted to special storage boxes. The thinking was that an analysis of the chemicals in his poop would reveal secrets about Mao's psychology. (Did it work? Nobody knows.) CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

32 What's up with all that mercury?

After Lewis and Clark's Corps of Discovery made it to the Pacific, they spent the winter of 1804-05 trading what was left of their personal effects for sexual favors from the Clatsop women. Most of the Clatsop women gave them syphilis. Because the prevailing treatment was an oral dose of mercury, we can say with certainty where many of the Corps' camp latrines were located, thanks to the mercury that remains in the soil today. GRAGKED.COM — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

31 British Tanks are ready for tea-time

All British tanks since 1945 have been equipped with Tea-Making Facilities http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Challenger_2#Crew_and_accommodation GRACKED.COM — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

30 The Battle of Stalingrad

In one day of heavy fighting during the Battle of Stalingrad, a local railway station changed hands from Soviet to German control and back again fourteen times in six hours. CRACKED.COM http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle of Stalingrad — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

29 Porn followed quickly

The first public screening of projected motion pictures for admission was held on December 28 1895. Within one year, the earliest known pornographic movie - Le Coucher de la Mariée - was released. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_film GRACKED.COM https://en:wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornographic_film, — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

28 Civil War was a long time ago (but not that long ago)

GRACKED.COM The federal government is still paying two Civil War pensions (to children of soldiers). The last Civil War widow died in 2003. http://www.usnews.com/news/blogs/washington-whispers/2012/02/09/us- government-still-pays-two-civil-war-pensions — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

27 Warner Brothers has been around for awhile

N 0 500 km The Ottoman Empire Russian Federation 250 miles Dianno . Austria Hungary Basnia Moldavia Crimea Italy Black Seu Georgia o Caspian Seu WD Bulgaria istanbul Romte Albania Turkey Greece Tunisia Iran Iraq Syria Mediterranean Sea Baghdad Israel Dominion if TIN AD o Alexandra6 Jerusalem Dorsavang it 1451 AO A TimeWarner Company Farthout adide of Osean powered HOT Saudi Arabia Turish Republic Egypt Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. was founded several months before the fall of the Ottoman Empire. Source: Wikipedia GRACKED.COM — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

26 The Roman Empire wasn't THAT big

The maximum area of the Roman Empire was about 2.51 million square miles. Pretty impressive right? It was actually only the 19th largest empire in history GRAGKED.COM http://en.wikipedta.org/wiki/List of largest, empires*All empires at their greatest_extent — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

25 This dude's real name

REAL NAME: YESHUA. AS IN: JOSHUA THE NEW TESTAMENT WAS FIRST WRITTEN IN GREEK, NOT HEBREW OR ARAMAIC. GREEKS DID NOT USE THE SH SOUND, SO S WAS SUBSITUTED. THEN, TO MAKE IT MASCULINE, THEY ADDED ANOTHER S AT THE END. THE / DIDN'T EVEN COME UNTIL THE LATE MIDDLE AGES. YESHUA (JOSHUA) YESUS JESUS CRACKED.COM HTTP://GOO.GL/ROzG4 — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

24 ABBA: Origins

When Norway was occupied by the Germans, the Nazis put into practice the Lebensborn program, whereby Norwegian women were coerced into mating with and having the children of Nazi officers. The most famous Lebensborn child: Frida Lyngstad, best known as the dark-haired female singer from... АВА CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

23 Napoleon wasn't even THAT short

Napoléon Bonaparte would be just 1 inch shorter than a typical French man today. Не was 5'612 today's average Frenchman is 5' 71/2 CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

22 King George V's death announcement

King George V's time of death was chosen for its PR value. When George lay dying in 1936, the royal family wanted the morning journals, not the lower-class evening ones, to announce his death. So he got a lethal dose of morphine and cocaine at 11:55 p.m. on January 19. Не apparently wasn't asked, and probably wouldn't have approved. CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

21 A random kidnapping

In WWI, a random Russian got kidnapped by his own country's peace negotiators. 6281 The team negotiating Russia's withdrawal from WWI planed to bring a peasant (to represent the common people), but on the way to the train, they realized they forgot him. So they snatched a badly dressed guy off the street, and next thing he knew, he was talking to European princes. CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

20 What's a reindeer doing here?

A WWII submarine had a reindeer onboard for six weeks. The British sub HMS Trident carried Pollyanna the reindeer, a personal gift from a Soviet admiral, back to England. She ate so much food (plus some navigation charts) that she got too big to walk out, and had to be lifted out with a winch (a sailor with a broom helped). CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

19 WWII landmine legacy

WWII landmines are being dug up, and reused, by ISIS. Because the Sahara's dry, hot climate is great for preserving things, plenty of the 17 milliom landmines left there after WWII still work. So ISIS has been digging them up and MacGyvering them into IEDs. CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

18 The French village's latrine

In WWI and WWII, a French village mourned a latrine. During WWI, the villagers of Bourg, France, where general Patton ran a tank school, thought a sealed pit with two crossed sticks was a U.S. soldier's grave. It was a latrine, and the sticks meant keep away. Patton didn't correct them. When he came back in WWII, it was still treated like a grave. CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

17 Safety? Shmafety.

On the Manhattan Project, safety standards basically didn't exist. In a key experiment, the plutonium was contained by one technician holding a screwdriver. But the screwdriver slipped, and the plutonium killed the technician. This happened twice. CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

16 Normandy by the numbers

GRACKED.COM 1944, NORMANDY THE BRITISH SECOND ARMY: 83,115 MEN THE US FIRST ARMY:A APPROX. 73,000 MEN — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

15 The deadly war record holder

Of the ten deadliest wars ever seven were fought in China alone more people died in each of the largest two of them than in World War I https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wars_by_death_toll CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

14 Yikes, guys. Yikes.

Interracial marriage was banned in South Africa from 1949 to 1985 - 36 years It was banned in USA from 1776 to 1967 - 191 years GRACKED.COM http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-miscegenation_laws — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

13 We fight. A lot.

CRACKED.COM It has been calculated that in the last 3,500 years, there have only been 230 years of peace throughout the civilized world. — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

12 A real potato chip on the shoulder

In 1598, Queen Elizabeth ordered a banquet featuring a food source from the new world; Potatoes. The royal cooks, having never prepared potatoes before, threw the veggie away and cooked the green part or eye instead sickening the whole royal court. Elizabeth banned the vegetable for 100 years! The ban was eventualy lifted a few years later when potatoes gained popularity in Spain, France and Italy. CRACKED.COM Source: http://www.chortler.com/archives/stories/101-history-fact--381588 — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

11 Retroactive Grading

The current 50 star flag was designed by then 17 year old Robert G. Heft, as part of a school project. For his effort, he recieved a grade of B- When his design was chosen and adopted by presidential proclamation, his teacher changed his grade to an A CRACKED.COM Source http://en.wikipedia.ceg/wikd/Rlag_of_the_United_StatesThe_49-_and_50_unions — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

10 The last Civil War Pension

The U.S. was still paying a Civil War pension in 2016. Irene Triplett in 2016 The sum was $73.13 per month, paid to one Irene Triplett (b. 1929), the daughter of a soldier who fought on both sides of the Civil War. When she was born, her father Mose was a spry 83. CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

9 Yuri Gagarin and Potato Farmers

The first man returning from space was met by potato farmers. In 1961, Yuri Gagarin parachuted from his space capsule down to the village of Saratov, and walked up (in his orange spacesuit) to a woman farming potatoes with her granddaughter. They freaked out the moment they saw him, then he calmly told them who he was. CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

8 Hurricane Katrina and Coffins

Hurricane Katrina flung over a thousand coffins all around New Orleans. Even worse, many were ripped open, which scattered the remains inside. A lot of the coffins ended up in remote or inaccessible spots, like swamp and forest areas (some got stuck in trees). People are still searching for and identifying the remains. CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

7 That's a lot of cocaine

The team searching for the Challenger's wreckage found cocaine worth millions. Experts spent nine weeks scanning 420 square miles of ocean with sonar. They found ordinary trash, a refrigerator, half of a torpedo, eight shipwrecks, and more. Oh, and a duffel bag with 25 kilos of cocaine (that came from who knows where), worth about $13 million. CRACKED.COM — **Source:** **18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned**

6 The Pony Express didn't last long

CRACKED COM For all that the Pony Express is a part of the lore of the Old West... PONY EXPRESS St JOSEPH, MISSOURI to CALIFORNIA in 10 days or less WANTED YOUNG, SKINNY, WIRY FELLOWS not ever eighteen. Must be expert riders, willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred. Wages $25 per week. APPLY PONY EXPRESS STABLES St. JOSEPH MISSOURI ...it lasted barely nineteen months, from April 1860, to October, 1861. Source: Wikipedia, Pony Express. — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

5 They really wanted this building, huh?

GRACKED.COM It is claimed that during the Battle of Stalingrad, more German soldiers died trying to unsuccessfully capture this one building from the twenty-five Soviet soldiers and ten civilians defending it than died in the entire invasion of Paris. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavlov27a_House — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

4 There's a lot of Nixon Tape

CRACKED COM Over 3500 hours of recordings were made by the taping system established in the White House and other executive offices by Richard Nixon during his presidency. Of these, only about 200 hours contain references to Watergate. By the time of Nixon's death in 1994, only 63 hours had been made public. — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

3 The Constitution is a freaking mess

P State into any creaty shallenter Coin a Tender in Pay l any Tille of Nobility State shall outhout unacceptable the Consent See me. net Proce such Laurs In State he shall,without the Consent of had with anotherstate, or with a force lay. Though regarded as a perfect document, the United States Constitution contains many spelling and grammatical errors. Just ask the delegate from Pensylvania. GRAGKED COM — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

2 Who was against the Vietnam war?

The Vietnam War was a case of the young college kids coming out and protesting against the mean old people who wanted to continue the unjust war, right? END THE WAR IN 1 NUOCHINA VIETNAM NOW Guess again. According to Gallup polls done throughout the 1960s, young and educated people (meaning college students) were far more likely to support the war than their old and uneducated fellow citizens. In fact, it was the over-50 crowd that opposed the war more than anyone. http://www.seanet.com/-jimxc/Politics/Mistakes/Vietnam_support.html GRACKED COM — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

1 So dinosaurs didn't just all hang out together?

GRACKED.COM The time difference between the Stegosaurus and the Tyrannosaurus Rex is larger than the time difference between the Tyrannosaurus Rex and you. — **Source:** **33 Little Facts About History**

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