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30 SNL Things That Never Saw The Light of Day (For Better or Worse)

By:: Brian C. Miller; Cracked Writers

March 10, 2022

30 SNL Things That Never Saw The Light of Day (For Better or Worse)

Saturday Night Live is responsible for it's fair share of iconic moments in television history-- Tom Hanks in a Halloween novelty suit, Sinead O'Conner ripping up a photo of the Pope, and plenty of accidental F bombs… But if you've ever watched the last half hour of the show, it can begin to feel like almost anything the writers throw up against the wall will make it to air. Anyone who's ever worked in studio 8H knows full well that nothing could be further from the truth-- An overwhelming number of ideas, both good and bad, have never made it past the pitching stage for being too weird, too controversial, or not appealing to a celebrity host's sensibilities and end up dying right there on the vine. And that's only dealing with what gets on the air Saturday nights-- Wait until you hear about all of the SNL movies that were nearly made.

30 Zach Galifianakis

ZACH GALIFIANAKIS CRACKED.COM Galifianakis thought he'd landed a spot in the cast but I got to New York and I realized quickly that I was writing. That less-than-dream job lasted only two weeks. — Source: 15 Comedy Stars Rejected By SNL

29 John Mulaney

JOHN MULANEY ALL STAR CRACKED.COM After his audition, Mulaney got a call from Seth Meyers with a writing job offer. I want to be clear, said Meyers, this is not the cast. Mulaney responded, I want to be clear. I would never think I would be in the cast. — Source: 15 Comedy Stars Rejected By SNL

28 Mindy Kaling

MINDY KALING CRACKED.COM I had these fantasies of going to SNL and falling in love with some writer on SNL, of getting married and living in New York. Kaling wasn't cast but her Office job was a good consolation prize. — Source: 15 Comedy Stars Rejected By SNL

27 Kel Mitchell

KEL MITCHELL CRACKED.COM Keenan's Good Burger buddy did a song about Michael Jackson if he was allergic to trees! I did like a moonwalk move and flipped the table with someone's drink on it over, it was a MESS! — Source: 15 Comedy Stars Rejected By SNL

26 Jim Carrey

JIM CARREY CRACKED.COM Carrey was only 18 years old when he auditioned for SNL. Didn't get I N the gig but he was MING quickly hired at LOR — Source: 15 Comedy Stars Rejected By SNL

25 David Cross

DAVID CROSS GRACKED COM His sketch group Cross Comedy did a showcase for SNL producers, which bombed big-time. Не and SNL writer Bob Odenkirk went on to create the iconic Mr. Show. — Source: 15 Comedy Stars Rejected By SNL

24 Michael Che's Avengers joke

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM MICHAEL CHE PITCHED A RACIALLY SPECIFIC JOKE ABOUTTHE AVENGERS FOR SNL. And, well, it didn't air. As he describes it, it was about the Avengers accidentally killing an unarmed Black teenager, and for obvious reasons, there's no way that's going on . — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

23 Stefon's Movie

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM THEY TALKED ABOUT MAKING A MOVIE BASED ON SNL'S STEFON AT ONE POINT. As John Mulaney said the film would be kind of like 24 Hour Party People, so like a narrative documentary where he is the correspondent on SNL Weekend Update. — Source: 11 Proposed Saturday Night Live Movies That We Never Got To See

22 Saturday Night Live: The Movie

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM THE SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE MOVIE ALMOST ENDED UP HAPPENING. mau SM ARE Apparently, it was supposed to be a feature-length collection of movie-related sketches, and the idea was floated in 1990. There was even a full-length script, but the movie never got off the ground. — Source: 11 Proposed Saturday Night Live Movies That We Never Got To See

21 The Peepers movie apparently has a funny script

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, WE GOT TO SEE A MOVIE BASED ON SNL'S PEEPERS SKETCH. And that universe is really different - because the Peepers script that exists was written as a joke by comedy writer Justin Becker, but it's apparently still really funny. — Source: 11 Proposed Saturday Night Live Movies That We Never Got To See

20 An Ambiguously Gay Movie

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM WE NEARLY GOT AN AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO AS A FULL-LENGTH MOVIE. A G It was supposed to star Jimmy Fallon and Alec Baldwin, but things just didn't work out - apparently, the stumbling block was the ownership of the characters. — Source: 11 Proposed Saturday Night Live Movies That We Never Got To See

19 A Key Party Movie

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM SETH MEYERS PITCHEDKEY PARTY IN THE MID-2000S TO PARAMOUNT STUDIOS. Apparently. it was supposed to be about a couple looking to spice up their love life by going to a key party, which in turn threatens to destroy their marriage. — Source: 11 Proposed Saturday Night Live Movies That We Never Got To See

18 Poor Blooby

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM JULIO TORRES WROTE A WEIRD SNL SKETCH ABOUT BLUEBERRIES THAT NEVER AIRED. It was actually about, uh, Blooby, which is a sort of sentient collection of blueberries that forms in your stomach when you eat, well, too many blueberries. — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

17 Donald Trump nixed this one

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM THERE WAS A SKETCH THE SNL TEAM WROTE FOR TRUMP, THAT НЕ REFUSED TO DO. It involved The Giving Tree, with Trump playing another tree - and, according to SNL writer Bryan Tucker, Trump had to stand in a tree with his face looking out of the hole of this tree, and he did not like that. — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

16 Antino Banderas' Tarzan

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE, THERE WAS AN SNL SKETCH WITH ANTONIO BANDERS AS TARZAN. Specifically, a Tarzan who wears turtlenecks -JB Smoove pitched this idea at one point, but it got nixed. — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

15 JB Smoove

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM JB SMOOVE PITCHED A TON OF ODD SKETCHES TO SNL THAT GOT REJECTED. NB One of them, for example, was about a bank teller who gets a job as a Subway sandwich maker and compulsively licks sandwich ingredients as if they were stacked dollar bills. — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

14 Donnie Parton

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM THERE'S A REJECTED SNL SKETCH INVOLVING A CHARACTER CALLED DONNIE PARTON. That's where you're the boy version of Dolly Parton but you have huge balls, explained SNL writer Tim Robinson. — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

13 Wait, this would have been incredible

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM ZACH GALIFIANAKIS PITCHED SKETCHES ABOUT BRITNEY SPEARS TO SNL, AND FAILED. Не even pitched one to her, involving her being interviewed by Entertainment Tonight. There's no jokes. And during the middle of the interview you just start bleeding from the mouth. She was not a fan. — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

12 THE X-PRESIDENTS would have been CHEAP

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM THERE'S AN X-PRESIDENTS MOVIE SCRIPT THAT'LL PROBABLY NEVER GET MADE. Robert Smigel said, I wrote a crazy Ex-Presidents movie with Adam McKay that was just meant to be completely silly and very cheap. I was just trying to get it produced for like, $3 million. — Source: 11 Proposed Saturday Night Live Movies That We Never Got To See

11 The Dieter Movie

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM AFTER AUSTIN POWERS BECAME A HIT, DIETER ALMOST DID, TOO. Based on Mike Myers' sketch about a West German TV show host, it was supposed to feature Will Ferrell - but it never got off the ground. — Source: 11 Proposed Saturday Night Live Movies That We Never Got To See

10 Coffee Talk: The Movie

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM IN THE '90S, THEY WANTED TO MAKE A MOVIE BASED ON SNL'S COFFEE TALKS SKETCHES. Studios wanted something that'd be as successful as Mike Myers' Wayne's World, so they hit up SNL sketches for material - and, for some reason, sketches like Coneheads got picked over Myers' Coffee Talk. — Source: 11 Proposed Saturday Night Live Movies That We Never Got To See

9 Da Bears Movie

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM THERE'S A SCRIPT WRITTEN FOR A BILL SWERSKI'S SUPERFANS MOVIE. Basino CHICAGO Rulle el Jordan CHICAGO au Chicago olls It was written by Bob Odenkirk and Robert Smigel, and it's about Superfans traveling the country amid a football strike. Chances are it'll never get made, though. — Source: 11 Proposed Saturday Night Live Movies That We Never Got To See

8 Coneheads: The Animated Series

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM AT ONE POINT, THEY WERE GOING TO MAKE A CONEHEADS ANIMATED SERIES. They made a 22-minute animated movie that was originally supposed to be a pilot, but the series never took off. — Source: 11 Proposed Saturday Night Live Movies That We Never Got To See

7 The Hans and Franz Movie

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM WE'LL PROBABLY NEVER GET TO SEE HANS AND FRANZ: THE GIRLY MAN DILEMMA. Dana Carvey says it was kind of like Austin Powers in a sense, written with Robert Smigel and Conan O'Brien. It was really cool, it was just very heavy on Arnold and Arnold decided not to do it at the last second. — Source: 11 Proposed Saturday Night Live Movies That We Never Got To See

6 Obama & Bin Landen

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM SNL SCRAPPED A JOKE ABOUT OBAMA TALKING ABOUT BIN LADEN'S KILLING. It'd show Obama addressing the country on the one-year anniversary of bin Laden's death and, among other things, announcing Killing Osama bin Laden Day. — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

5 Chance the Rapper didn't make it as a sketch writer

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM CHANCE THE RAPPER PUT TOGETHER A BUNCH OF SNL SKETCHES THAT DIDN'T PAN OUT. They included GentriFried chicken, Hillary Clinton tries odd jobs, Kwanzaa sketch, plus one about Kanye. One of his ideas did get made, though -Jingle Barack. — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

4 Thankfully there's "I Think You Should Leave"

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM THERE'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF SKETCHES FROM TIM ROBINSON WE NEVER SAW ON SNL. They include an intentional walk cage rather than a batting cage - as Robinson explains, it's so you would just go in and it would shoot four balls outside of your range. — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

3 Too dangerous for Justin Bieber

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM THERE WAS AN SNL SKETCH THAT GOT REHEARSED, BUT NEARLYY INJURED JUSTIN BIEBER. And so it got nixed. As Bill Hader said, 'Song for Daddy' was Justin Bieber and that sketch only went to dress, and everything that could possibly go wrong in a sketch went wrong during that sketch. — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

2 Jason Sudeikis' "Juggling Flyer"

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM JASON SUDEIKIS PITCHED A SKETCH CALLEDJUGGLING FLYERTO SNL. A They never filmed it, but we ultimately did get to see it thanks to Late Night with Seth Meyers (it got made for its Second Chance Theatre segment, ultimately). — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

1 Tony & Joan Hawaii, PI

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM KRISTEN WIIG WROTE AN SNL SKETCH ABOUTTONY AND JOAN HAWAII, PI. And Lorne Michaels rejected them - Tony was kind of an Italian womanizer, and Joan Hawaii PI was, well, a Hawaiian Private Eye who, as Wiig said, kayaks everywhere. — Source: 13 Rejected Saturday Night Live Sketches We'll Never Get To See

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