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22 of the Sickest Burns in History

By:: Timon DJ Spajic; Cracked Writers

July 16, 2023

22 of the Sickest Burns in History

You’ve come to the right place if you're looking for a list of obscenities that will leave some other person speechless. Here are 22 historical insults that will send any verbal adversary to its knees…

22

Muhammad Ali CRACKED.COM Ali called Howard Cosell impotent in a way subtle enough that papers could print it: You're always talking about, 'Muhammad, you're not the same man you were 10 years ago.' Well, I talked to your wife, and she told me you're not the same man you was two years ago! — NY Mag

21

Liz Lemon's favorite cheese snacks in 30 Rock have the saddest flavor in the world. DIRI DISMING WEEK SABOR DL SOLEDOO gR EMMA CRUJENTE Their name is Sabor de Soledad, or in Spanish, Taste of Loneliness. CRACKED.COM — We Found These Killer Movie & TV Jokes So You Don’t Have To

20

Homeland's set design mocks the show #جاسوسو سعوو الوطن عنصري GRACKED COM The show contracted artists to design some Arabic street art. The artists made several messages that the producers didn't bother checking before airing, including Homeland is a watermelon (an insult that loses something in translation) and the above Homeland is racist. — 6 Iconic Works Of Art With Brutal Insults Hidden In Them

19

Christopher T Hitchens GRACKED.COM Here was Hitchens' way of calling the Rev. Jerry Falwell full of s#!t: If you gave Falwell an enema, you could have buried him in a matchbox. Не said this live on Fox News immediately following Falwell's death. — The Atlantic

18

IN KANYE WEST'S So APPALLED, GUEST JAY-Z RAPS IN HIS VERSE, Hammer went broke so you know I'm more focused ... ... unlike Hammer 30 million can't hurt me ... A reference to MC Hammer's career and money woes. Hammer caught on and released a video suggesting Hov was in cahoots with Satan, ya know, because that's sane. CRACKED.COM — 16 Pop Songs With Hidden Insults

17

Schrödinger's Cat is ridiculous GRAGKED.COM People reference it anytime something's uncertain. But the cat isn't just indeterminately dead or alive. It is simultaneously dead AND alive. Which makes no sense, but neither does quantum mechanics (said Schrödinger), which is why he invented the absurd thought experiment. — 5 Scientific Explanations That Get Misused Constantly

16

Gravity Falls' Latin gibberish contains scathing pop culture criticism. The fake Latin incantation Dipper uses to enter Stan's mind includes the phrase Inceptus Nolanus overratus, or, Nolan's Inception is overrated. CRACKED.COM — We Found These Killer Movie & TV Jokes So You Don’t Have To

15

Rick and Morty really, really rubbed it in for Jerry in Season 3. 55 Not only does the wind whisper loser when he's around, but spineless, insecure Jerry wears a robe with a Chinese symbol that means weak. CRACKED.COM — We Found These Killer Movie & TV Jokes So You Don’t Have To

14

THE DEAD MILKMEN wrote a song called Instant Club Hit (You'll Dance to Anything), which denounced dance music from Europe. JUST M The song slammed acts with big hairdos, intent on taking our money, including Depeche Commode, a not-so-subtle rip on Depeche Mode. CRACKED.COM — 16 Pop Songs With Hidden Insults

13

22 of the Sickest Burns in History — 13 Movies And Shows That Dunked On Themselves

12

Nightwish's Bye Bye Beautiful was directed at their former vocalist Tarja Turunen, who was kicked out of the band due to her selfishness. KORG - Did we get this far just to feel your hate?/ Did we play to become only pawns in the game?/How blind can you be, don't you see/You chose the long road but we'll be waiting/Bye bye beautiful - Bye Bye Beautiful by Nightwish CRACKED.COM — 16 Pop Songs With Hidden Insults

11

A character on Joss Whedon's show Angel hates some of Whedon's work. Fred's mother says her husband loves the Alien films, except for that last one they made; I think he dozed off. That's Alien: Resurrection, for which Joss Whedon wrote the script. CRACKED.COM — 13 Movies And Shows That Dunked On Themselves

10

Coyote/Road Runner cartoons were a staple of Saturday morning TV. & ACCME 8 They were created as Satire. In 1949, chase cartoons were something of a trope. Animator Chuck Jones decided to take a poke at giants like Tom and Jerry and Sylvester and Tweety by making the most absurd, over-the-top cartoon he could come up with. To his surprise, the first Coyote/Road Runner cartoon was an instant hit. CRACKED.COM Steve Schneider, 1988. That's All Folks! The Art of Warner Bros Animation. — 23 Sneaky Insults That Sailed Right Over People's Heads

9

Invader Zim had a test subject named Nick. KITCHEN Nick was short for Nickelodeon. Creator Jhonen Vasquez wanted Invader Zim to be very dark. Nickelodeon didn't agree. Vasquez expressed his frustration by creating Nick, whose happiness implant made him cheerful at all costs. That's how he saw the network-happy and upbeat no matter what, as if the critical thinking part of their brains had been hijacked. CRACKED.COM http://zim. .wikia.com/wiki/Nick — 23 Sneaky Insults That Sailed Right Over People's Heads

8

On an episode of Conan, Chelsea Handler made fun of Andy Richter's weight by asking him if he floats in the ocean. HIS RESPONSE WAS MAGICAL. Sure! What; do you sink? Might be that cast iron heart. CRACKED.COM — 24 Sick Burns That You Can Feel All The Way Across History

7

CRACKED.COM They're not writers; they're typists. Sweaty typists blacking up pounds of bond paper with formless, eyeless, earless messages. -Truman Capote on Colin Wilson and others — 24 Sick Burns That You Can Feel All The Way Across History

6

THAT PART OF HIS SPEECH WAS RATHER LIKE BEING SAVAGED BY A DEAD SHEEP. DENIS HEALY, BRITISH LABOUR PARTY POLITICIAN, IN RESPONSE TO GEOFFREY HOWE'S VERBAL ATTACK DURING A DEBATE. CRACKED.COM — 24 Sick Burns That You Can Feel All The Way Across History

5

22 of the Sickest Burns in History — 24 Sick Burns That You Can Feel All The Way Across History

4

Gertrude Stein's prose-song is a cold black suet-pudding. We can represent it as a cold suet- roll of fabulously reptilian length. Cut it at any point, it is the same thing; the same heavy, sticky opaque mass all through and all along. - Wyndham Lewis CRACKED.COM — 24 Sick Burns That You Can Feel All The Way Across History

3

more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service. - Clive James CRACKED.COM — 23 Total Mic Drop Insults

2

CRACKED.COM Comedian Jimmy Carr to a heckler: Well Gary, if you want my comeback, you'll have to scrape it off your mum's teeth. — 23 Total Mic Drop Insults

1

I haven't any right to criticise books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticise Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone. Mark Turain GRACKED COM — 23 Total Mic Drop Insults

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