35 of the Funniest Tweets from April 24, 2024

That’s not where the bowls go…

Authors: By Ian Garner
Published: April 24, 2024
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Roseanne Barr Almost Starred in ‘Married… With Children’

And she would have had babies with screaming Sam Kinison

Authors: By Matt Solomon
Published: April 24, 2024
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I Would Feed My Right Hand to A Gator to Stop Adam Sandler From Making ‘Happy Gilmore 2’

An alligator ended Chubbs Peterson’s golf aspirations — could it close down Sandler’s sequel dreams, too?

Authors: By Keegan Kelly
Published: April 24, 2024
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These Are Ray Romano’s Three Favorite Episodes of ‘Everyone Loves Raymond’

No episode is perfect, but Romano thinks these three came close

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Published: April 24, 2024
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Rob Schneider Pivots From Cancel Culture Comedy to His Other Shtick

After driving away the anti-woke crowd with his holiday gala meltdown, Schneider will try to win them back with some old-fashioned Christian entertainment

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31 Facts and Observations About Common Traditions

By:: Cracked Writers; Timon DJ Spajic

November 19, 2023

31 Facts and Observations About Common Traditions

Office parties, something most of us have been a part of and none of us enjoy. Why are they even a thing? Nobody knows. We as a society follow a bunch of weird traditions and social customs and we don’t even really know why. Such as…

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CRACKED.COM Office parties need to be put out to pasture. If we want to socialize with our coworkers, we can make plans on our own, we don't need forced rituals. — Pointless Social Customs That Need To Be Retired, ASAP

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CRACKED.COM Men should wear pants and women should wear skirts... Yet if you think about it, who needs the extra ventilation the most? Make skirts manly again. — Pointless Social Customs That Need To Be Retired, ASAP

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CRACKED COM Having church services early on Sunday mornings makes no sense. Most people only get two days a week to sleep in, so why do their churches deny them that pleasure? — Pointless Social Customs That Need To Be Retired, ASAP

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CRACKED COM Massage Envy GameStop t&t LAUNCH GAME EVENT MONDAY NIGHT Gome It's high time we stop lining up in the middle of the night for the release of the newest blockbuster video games. The game will play exactly the same the next day, and we won't be so tired that we're too delirious to actually enjoy playing. — Pointless Social Customs That Need To Be Retired, ASAP

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Men are expected to pay for the first date. This only made sense half a century ago when women earned significantly less than men or weren't allowed to work. GRACKED.COM — Pointless Social Customs That Need To Be Retired, ASAP

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Russia GRACKED.COM Don't be surprised if in Russia you see diners eating burgers with disposable latex gloves on.* It's an easy way to make sure that your hands don't smell like burger and that your burger tastes like latex! *and it started in 2016, so no, it's not a COVID thing. — New York Times

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In most cases, the man is supposed to make the first move, plan the first date, and propose. Why? CRACKED.COM — 21 Social Rules And Traditions That Are Totally Obsolete

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CRACKED COM We should stop looking at all caps as shouting or that someone is being rude. We have emjois for that now. — 21 Social Rules And Traditions That Are Totally Obsolete

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Inuits S CRACKED.COM In some Inuit cultures, mostly centralized in Greenland and Northern Canada, farting after a meal is a compliment, showing appreciation for the good food. Turns out my grandpa is extremely polite! — Mashed

22

CRACKED.COM Google how many partners does the average how many partners does the average person have how many partners does the average female have how many partners does the average woman have before marriage how many partners does the average person have before marriage how many partners does the average 21 year old have how many partners does the average american woman have how many partners does the average girl have Google Search I'm Feeling Lucky Let's stop judging a woman's worth by the number of sexual partners she's had. It's been going on for all of recorded history, and — 21 Social Rules And Traditions That Are Totally Obsolete

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Mongolia CRACKED.COM As Genghis Khan expanded the Mongol empire, he and his troops were fueled by airag, fermented horse milk. Now you've learned a bit of history AND learned that horses have weird little udders. Knowledge is power! — Wander-Lush

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China CRACKED.COM Clean plates are a demand of American mothers everywhere. If you're in China, though, it's considered a sign that you're still hungry. Wearing a napkin like a bib and pounding the table while crying is also frowned upon. — Republicworld

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Georgia GRACKED.COM The country of Georgia makes traditional wine in a clay urn called a qvevri that they bury underground. Better than the STATE of Georgia's traditional alcohol, which comes in a mason jar and makes you blind. — Wander-Lush

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We need to put an end to the idea that people who read books are all wicked smart. People read straight-up trash every single day, and they aren't made better for having read it. It all depends on what you read, not just that you were reading. CRACKED.COM — 21 Social Rules And Traditions That Are Totally Obsolete

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Don't eavesdrop! Forget that. If people are audibly talking in public then they're fair game. CRACKED.COM — 21 Social Rules And Traditions That Are Totally Obsolete

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Let's spend thousands of dollars on our wedding So we can start our lives together BROKE GRACKED.COM — 18 Reasons To End These Traditions

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GRACKED.COM No white after Labor Day Summer lasts way past Labor Day in much of the U.S. Isn't it time we do away with arbitrary rules about things as trivial as clothing? — 18 Reasons To End These Traditions

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CRACKED.COM Why does one adult need to ask another adult for a blessing to propose to a third adult? Modern marriage is a two person situation, so why are we still treating women like property? — 18 Reasons To End These Traditions

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Why does the most common first date activity consist of DOD CORN just silently staring at a screen for two hours? CRACKED.COM — 18 Reasons To End These Traditions

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Americans eat dinner very early. Since many middle-class Americans skip breakfast (or eat on the go), and eat lunch at their desks (if they eat lunch at all), they're ready for dinner as soon as they get home from work, between 5:30° 8:00 pm. This is considered too early for the vast majority of the world, who often don't even consider sitting down to table until 8 or 9. GRACKED.COM — American Customs That Make No Sense To The Rest Of The World

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American elections are bizarre to most other countries. VS. In the U.S., elections often start more than a year before the actual vote. In addition to that, several billions of dollars are spent. In most other countries campaigns only last for a couple of weeks. For example, the longest election campaign in Canadian history lasted 74 days. In the U.K., a party can't spend more than $29.5 million in the year before the election. CRACKED.COM — American Customs That Make No Sense To The Rest Of The World

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GRACKED.COM In the U.K., you all right? is a greeting rather than a question. You typically respond with the same greeting in return. However, in America, answer the question! When asking someone you all right? they are genuinely asking how you are doing or feeling. — American Customs That Make No Sense To The Rest Of The World

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We don't get why Americans are so obsessed with Super Bowl commercials... NFL THE DUNE: NOT - Wilson - ...that they'd spend more time talking about the ads than the actual sport. CRACKED.COM — American Customs That Make No Sense To The Rest Of The World

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CRACKED.COM UN 60 Americans' 5g obsession with college sports IS BAFFLING TO EUROPEANS. We couldn't CARE LESS ABOUT THEM. i I — American Customs That Make No Sense To The Rest Of The World

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People outside the U.S. think it's crazy that Americans have to file their own taxes. OPOL Many non-U.S. countries have taxes prepared by their revenue agency. For example, in Japan you get a postcard with your earnings and taxes owed and withheld. You only have to reply if there is a problem. CRACKED.COM — American Customs That Make No Sense To The Rest Of The World

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Advertisements for prescription drugs are allowed in the U.S. OOL of SSNZW NATURAL King man PRESCRIPTION ONLY MEDI Absorbent KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN Your doctor is supposed to be the one to tell you what you need. Advertisements for prescription drugs are considered unethical and illegal in almost every country. CRACKED.COM — American Customs That Make No Sense To The Rest Of The World

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CRACKED.COM Women are supposed to wear make-up every day or else everyone will ask them Are you ok? — 17 Everyday Customs That No Longer Make Any Sense

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Bouquet toss at weddings is based on the superstition that whoever catches it will be the next one to get married. It has also sent countless over-excited single ladies to the ER. It's time to stop! CRACKED.COM — 17 Everyday Customs That No Longer Make Any Sense

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12 14 We can't have 10 11 the 13th floor 9 8 because Satan 7 6 lives on the 13th 5 4 floor. And how do we deal with it? We pretend the 13th floor is the 14th. Real mature, guys! CRACKED.COM — 17 Everyday Customs That No Longer Make Any Sense

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The Biography Speech at a Wedding I met Gazza when he was 5! So Funny, So Original... NOT! GRACKED.COM — 17 Everyday Customs That No Longer Make Any Sense

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x x DISRESPECTFUL Sweety Honey CONDESCENDING x Darlin INCONSIDERATE Let's STOP addressing women with childish endearments, shall we? GRACKED.COM — 17 Everyday Customs That No Longer Make Any Sense

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