Tell Us Now: The 16 Clumsiest Attempts At Movie Censorship

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Tell Us Now: The 16 Clumsiest Attempts At Movie Censorship

We asked Cracked fans on YouTube about the silliest ways TV shows and movies have been censored for their delicate eyes and ears, and they had some monkey-fighting thoughts on the Monday-through-Friday subject. 

Consider the examples= of Jason Goes To H: The Final Friday (the Friday the 13th sequel), which was undoubtedly and categorically quite violent. The 'Unrated' VHS version of the film is  somehow even bloodier than the original! In one particularly memorable and utterly ridiculous scene,someone was graphically sliced in half inside a camp. In a good way, of course.

Regrettably, there is far less censorship than in the crazy nineties because once, horror films would've been snipped by the censor's scissors merely for presenting an erupting head. Mostly in the early 1980s, some blockbuster movies even had bloody gunshot wounds snipped.

Of course, it goes without saying that we all despise censorship.  Who needs to be told by an outside authority how many exploding heads they may or may not watch? C’mon. We’re all irresponsible adults here.

So, what do I never forget about film censorship? The clumsiest attempts.

Check out some of the best examples below, and watch our account of the time Iran hid Will Ferrell's crotch with CGI.

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP Die Hard CRACKED Yippie ki-yay, Mister Falcon! - DXKramer

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP Snakes On A Plane CRACKED I've had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday through Friday plane! - R Nickerson

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP The Big Lebowski CRACKED Walter on basic cable: Do you see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps? - James B.

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP The Matrix CRACKED The scene where they pull the tracking creature out of Neo's stomach. His line after that was supposed to be: Jesus Christ, that thing's real? But it was censored for TV, and changed to, you won't believe this: Jeepers Creepers, that thing's real? - Daniel R.

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP E.T. CRACKED The shotguns in ET being replaced with walkie-talkies. - Jon w.

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP One Piece GRACKED They censored the cigarette into a lollipop... which sometimes had smoke coming out of it. - PulseTriangle

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP Sailor Moon CRACKED When Sailor Moon had a lesbian couple, the studio was sure certain foreign audiences wouldn't be okay with that, so they changed the story to make them cousins. The thing is, they forgot to change the dialogue, so it just became an incestuous lesbian couple. - skulblakaFreohr

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP The Force Awakens ? STAR CRACKED THE FORCE AWAKENS Changing the Disney Star Wars posters to hide Finn in the background for China. - Olivia S.

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP Some zombie flick GRACKED When I was holidaying in Thailand around 2010, I saw an indigenous zombie movie in the cinema. It was fairly gross, no organ was left on the inside, the locals of course took their kids with no thought to the age rating. You know what got mosaic censored? Somebody smoking. -nathan r.

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP Galaxy Quest CRACKED Dubbing Sigourney Weaver saying, Screw that! when she clearly said, F* that! originally. - Alexandra M.

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP Lords of Dogtown GRACKED A girl says you blew me away to Jay Adams. Jay responds with, what? You wanna blow me? To which she says maybe. They changed what Jay says to what? You want bologna? But they left the maybe in... -LtLokiKCJ

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP Steven Universe .00 CRACKED Most international dubs making Ruby a boy, SO it wouldn't promote homosexuality. Boo. - Azure Trio

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP Yu-Gi-Oh! CRACKED When they talk about the shadow realm, when in reality they just straight up die. - Fabienne S.

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP Kill Bill CRACKED When the fight scene goes black/ white. - BriBriar Whitey

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein OR CHANEY ...BELA LUGOSI STRANGE GRACKED The Australian version that removes all footage that includes monsters. Abbott and Costello Meet... Nothing... - Patrick J.

TELL US NOW: CLUNKIEST CENSORSHIP Men In Black to CRACKED Will Smith saying We don't have time for this coverup- and a VERY white sounding man replacing BS with nonesense. - The Vorum
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