14 Impractical, Useless or Downright Dangerous Superhero Costume Accessories

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14 Impractical, Useless or Downright Dangerous Superhero Costume Accessories

A superhero is only as iconic as their costume err… supersuit. Whatever super activity they have to super do, their suit needs to super accommodate. And most of the time, that activity is fighting bad guys and supervillains. So, if they have to spend all their time fighting, why are they outfitted with costume accessories that just make their lives more difficult? From all that exposed skin to all the extra bit of dangly stuff that would be easy for an evil schemer to grab onto and wrestle them to the ground, there’s so many unnecessary and even straight up counterproductive examples of superheroes making it clear that they are just not that great at accessorizing. Here are 14 of those fashion frills that hurt heroes more than help. Aspiring superheroes, take notes – learning from these could very well be the difference between kicking super ass or getting super kicked in the ass. 

ANYTHING STICKING OuT OF YOUR MASK WHETHER IT'S GOLDEN WINGS OR FREAKING BAT EARS. WHAT. PURPOSE CAN THESE HEAD ADORNMENTS SERVE?. HEY FLASH. ONE SLIP. AND YOU'LL HAVE A PERMANENT WING DENT IN YOUR SPEEDY SKUL'L.

PLEASE CLOSE POWER GIRLS BOOB WINDOW FINE! CRAGKED LEAVING ASIDE THE OBVIOUS CHEESECAKE INCLINATIONS. THE BOOB WINDOW IS DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUIS! ONE WOULDN'T. WANT. TO BE NEAR CATWOMAN'S CLAWS IN THIS GET-UP. ANOTHER POTENTIAL' HAZARD: SUNBLIRN.

WHAT COULD BE MORE CLUMSY THAN A CAPE VAWS The OF RTER SHARK CRAGKEDEC WHETHER IT'S A KILLER SHARK OR A GLY WITH A GRAPPLING HOOK. WHY GIVE THE BAD GUYS SOMETHING TO GRAB? IT'S THE ACCESSORY THAT MEANS YOU CAN BE STOPPED BY A CLOSING ELEVATOR DOOR.

NOTHING DUMBER THAN CAPES WITH HIGH COLLARS MY DERS, CRACKED COM BESIDES GIVING VILLAINS ANOTHER THING TO GRAB, THE HIGH COLLAR COMPLETELY ELIMINATES YOUR PERIPHERAL VISION. NOT THAT YOU'D NEED TO SEE WHEN YOU'RE FIGHTING. MEPHISTO:

WE'LL ADMIT IT'S A CLASSIC SHORTS OVER TIGHTS PREMILKE ISSUE! SLPERMAN STARTED IT BUIT IF HE JLMPED OFF A BRIDGE: WOULD You FOLLOW? CHINT: HE CAN FLY) TIGHTS ARE DUMB ENOUGH. BUIT WHY DORK THEM LP WITH A PAIR OF MATCHING BRIEFS?.

ITS TOUGH TO FLY MODESTLY IN A SKIRT CRAGKEDCOM BUT DISCRETION ASIDE, IS THERE AN ARTICLE OF CLOTHING THAT OFFERS LESS BATTLE PROTECTION? LULULEMON' LEGGINGS WOULD BE. AN IMPROVEMENT.: DON'T GET us STARTED ON THE BARE MIDRIFF:

WE KNOW SUPERMAN BEGINS WITH S THANKS TO LETTER LOGOS A LETTER ON YOUR COSTUME WON'T GET YOU KILLED. BUT WHAT'S THE POINT? IS THERE ANY DUMBER COSTUME ACCESSORY THAN MISTER TERIFFIC WEARING A BIG LETTERT ON HIS FACE?

LETS CLIT DAZZLER SOME SLACK FOR THOSE ROLLER SKATES EM 5IAVE GO FO DAZ SING IT MAMA! wow CRACKED CON 1980 WAS A WEIRD TIME: HOSTAGES IN IRAN. THE REAGAN ERA ABOUT TO SWING IN. EVERYONE HAS A RUBIKS CUBE: SO A HERO WITH ROLLER DISCO POWERS ALMOST MAKES SENSE

TRY LEAPING OVER AN ALLEYWAYIN HIGH HEELS CRAGKED COM YES. YES. YoU LOOK TALLER. BUT HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN IN THOSE THINGS?. YOU'RE DESTROYING YOUR ARCHES: BATGIRL NOT TO MENTION INCREASING YOUR CHANCE: OF PLANTAR FASCIITIS.

EXPLAIN THE LOGIC BEHIND THE HELMET HAT CRAGKED.COM YOU'RE SPRINTING ALONG AT SOMETHING APPROACHING THE SPEED OF LIGHT AND YOUR STRAPLESS METAL CAP STAYS ON HOW?. MAYBE IT STOPS A STRAY BULLET: BUT THAT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN THE WINGS.

STRIKE FEAR INTO THE HEART OF EVIL WITH FISHNETSTOCKINGS CRACGKED.COM FIRST OFF. YOUR LEGS WILL GET COLD. SECOnD: THOSE THINGS ARE GOING TO RUN AT THE FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE: MAYBE A NICE PAIR OF JEANS?

TURN INTO A HLIMAN TARGET WITH DAY GLO COLORS APPARENTLY. ELEKTRA MISSED THE DAY AT NINTA SCHOOL WHEN THEY TALKED ABOUT WEARING BLACK.: PAINTING YOURSELF ALL THE COLORS OF THE RAINBOW: JUST MAKES IT EASY TO BLAST YoU WITH MINI'MISSLES.

RUNNING. TUST GOT CLUNKIER WITH CUFFED BOOTS 0008 0000 :::: Mim 111700 0000 REAPPEAREO HE PASSING ANN SHMIDt, CRAOKEDS ED SKULL. NEED TO GET COSTUMED IN A HURRY? HOW ABOUIT BOOTS WITH A BIG-ASS FLAP. OF LEATHER THAT YOu NEED TO FOLD OVER THE TOP?. LOOKS LIKE CAP. WATCHED

NEVER EXPOSE YOUR BARE FLESH We WAITINS POR ORACKEDO IF YOUI'RE FROM KRYPTON OR THEMYSCIRA. YOU MIGHT HAVE SUPER SKIN. BUT FOR NONPOWERED GALS LIKE KATE BISHOP. MAYBE THE STRAPLESS PROM DRESS ISN'T YOUR BEST ACTION OPTION?
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