12 Fresh Headlines That Sound Like They’re From A Parallel Universe

Truly, Glenn Close is one of Hollywood’s most accomplished living actresses. So accomplished, that one of her latest roles was nominated for two awards: an Oscar and *checks notes* … wait …

Here’s that full story, plus 11 others:

12

A Pennsylvania woman tried to eliminate her daughter's cheerleading rivals with deepfakes. She made fake photos of videos of the girls drinking, smoking, or naked, and sent them to her daughter's cheerleading coaches, all to try and get those girls off the team. She was charged with two misdemeanors.

11

An Oklahoma basketball announcer blamed using the -word on a blood sugar spike. 1ST O DPn When he saw players kneeling before a basketball game, Matt Rowan was apparently unaware the mic was on and said They're kneeling? F--g N--. Later, in an apology, he said he was a Type

Source: The Spun

10

We've found out that hanging rhinos upside down is important for their conservation. Researchers at Cornell's College of Veterinary Medicine found that airlifting the rhinos from inaccessible terrain in that position gives the rhinos more oxygen, which is really helpful because the drug used to tranquilize them lowers the level

Source: CNN

9

Lucha libre wrestlers enforced mask wearing in Mexico. 13 They went into the Central de Abasto market in Mexico City, the biggest wholesale food market in Latin America, and shouted Put on a mask! and Be responsible! People who didn't comply were sprayed with disinfectant. CRACKED.COM

Source: Reuters

8

Glenn Close was nominated for an Oscar and a Razzie for the same role. The role was Bonnie Mamaw Vance in Hillbilly Elegy, and this is the first time in history the same role was nominated for both awards.

Source: The Hollywood Reporter

7

Alabama might finally let kids do yoga in schools. Yoga has been banned in Alabama schools for 28 years, because of its Hindu roots, but that might finally change. But using Sanskrit phrases during yoga, like Namaste, is definitely still going to be forbidden. CRACKED.COM

Source: Washington Post

6

We're running out of Trappist monks, SO we might start running out of Trappist beer. Authentic Trappist beer requires that monks supervise its production, and fewer and fewer men are becoming monks, so there might not be any certified authentic Trappist beers around soon.

Source: WSJ

5

The NCAA is suing Virginia urologists for their Vasectomy Mayhem ad campaign. VASFOT MAWEN ARBARA KARN, MD REWLAUROLOOY The NCAA claims the basketball-themed ads are too similar to their March Madness basketball tournament and will leave consumers confused.

Source: NBCNews

4

A Bay Area woman was arrested for sneaking onto a flight for the 22nd time. It was only two weeks after her plea deal for the 21st time she tried to sneak onto a flight was rejected. CRACKED.COM

Source: SFGate

3

In Texas, police arrested a woman who asked What are you going to do, arrest me? She was at a bank and refused to either wear a mask or leave and, when police showed up, that's what she asked them.

Source: The Guardian

2

A Texas man tried to buy a car in an ingenious (and criminal) way. He loaned a car from a dealership while they finalized the sale of another car to him, then drove to a bank and robbed it. Then he went back and used the stolen money as downpayment

Source: KIRO7

1

Scientists want to build a giant sperm and egg storehouse on the moon. Solar PV Ka-Band Antenna (Power Supply) (Communications) Airlock MINMA Elevator Shafts Preservation Analysis Laboratory Pit Cryo-Preservation Modules According to the proposal from six University of Arizona researchers, 6.7 million species' sperm and egg samples would be stored

Source: Insider