15 Nightmare Food Mascots That Do Not Inspire Peckishness

Sure, Baby Nut was lazy and pandering. And sure, they made the green M&M way too hot. But after you get a load of Apple Guy and Krinkles the Clown, you're gonna come crawling back to The Colonel. 

15

Bigg Mixx KELLOGG'S t GG B CRACKED COM In the early 90's, Kellogg's sold a... gigantic orgy of every cereal they had. Appropriately, the mascot looked like the result of 10 generations of chimera inbreeding.

Source: The 8 Most Baffling Food Mascots of All-Time

14

The Hamburglar M MCDONALD'S McDonaldland COOKIES CRACKEDO He wasn't always the cherubic little scamp we know and love. The Hamburglar spent the 70's and 80's oody-hopping into various greasy-haired, dead-eyed serial killers.

Source: 7 Famous Mascots (Who Once Looked Scary As Hell)

13

Rock-afire Explosion SHOWBIZ PIZZA This animatronic band is what would happen if Jeff Dunham had 10 minutes to build a Chuck E. Cheese from spare puppet parts he had lying around.

Source: YouTube

12

Cecil GRINS & SMILES & GIGGLES & LAUGHS Goinnil Gocgsl CRACKED COM This dour, ear-jowled mass of factory equipment vomits boxes of kids' cereal when he laughs. And he only laughs when someone gets hurt.

Source: YouTube

11

Franken Berry ono CRACKED COM This Salad Fingers-looking spOKESCORPSE is either Count Chocula's dead roommate, or a collection of human corpses stitched together to sell cereal. Neither should be seen by children first thing on a Sunday morning.

Source: 7 Corporate Mascots With Terrifying Implications

10

A dead-eyed, grinning apple aevzt APPLE JACKS Jun APPLE CINNAMON COATED CEREAT WIN ONS CRACKED CON This freaky little fedor-o-lantern with the vapid stare had an equally vapid name: Apple Guy. He haunted children throughout the 60's with the clear implication that they were eating his eyes.

Source: 7 Famous Mascots (Who Once Looked Scary As Hell)

9

Big Otis OKS MEET BIG OTIS Os HS This gigantic creep was the mascot for OKs, a cereal that was like Alpha-Bits but with only the letters O and K. His thing was luring brawny lads and bonnie lassies into the woods to hork down some oats.

Source: 7 Famous Mascots (Who Once Looked Scary As Hell)

8

Pizza Head PIZZA HUT CRACKED COM Back in the 90's, Pizza Hut thought they needed to sell us pizza by: having a pizza cutter repeatedly murder a liviNG slice of cold pizza. It's pizza! We're gonna get drunk and eat it!

Source: YouTube

5

Ronald MCDonald CRACKED COM This is Ronald's first appearance, in 1963. His costume is made of literal fast food trash, like he dumped a McDonalds bathroom garbage can on his head just before trying to sell cheap beef to your kid.

Source: YouTube

4

Big Fig NEWTONS DMMERCIAL DMMERCIAL CRACKED COM Back when they had enough fig content to include the word fig in the name, they put an angry-looking, jowly man in... quite honestly a pear costume, and made him box step until his heart exploded.

Source: YouTube

1

The Frito Bandito FRITOS CRACKED CON Frito-Lay got voice-acting legend Mel Blanc to voice this gunslinging caricature, who's actively robbing you the viewer in this TV spot.

Source: The 6 Most Clearly Disturbing Mascots in Marketing History