A French-American's Thoughts On 'Emily In Paris'

A French-American's Thoughts On 'Emily In Paris'

Reminder: You're More Likely To Be Struck By Lightning Than Get A Blood Clot From The Johnson & Johnson Jab

Reminder: You're More Likely To Be Struck By Lightning Than Get A Blood Clot From The Johnson & Johnson Jab

15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

Hear Us Out: 'The Falcon and the Winter Soldier' is Secretly About Iron Man

Hear Us Out: 'The Falcon and the Winter Soldier' is Secretly About Iron Man

4 Bonkers Secret Military Operations (That Failed Horribly)

4 Bonkers Secret Military Operations (That Failed Horribly)

15 Bonkers Breakfast Cereal Prizes From The Good Old Days

Take me back to the days when advertisers could lie to kids, and toy manufacturers could use cool stuff, like… asbestos, and mercury. I said take me back, King Vitamin!

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60'S - 80'S Playable records Boo Berry PIODI Arp The Frankenberry Count Monsters Choute A 33% RPM Go Disco FULE FOFTY NSTRUICDIONS 4AAR BACC TO CRACKED INLLNLL CONI tonng: YO They actually managed to print music onto the glossy back of a cardboard cereal box, which you could cut out and spin on a

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1958 SPOONMAN OTE NIT INSIDE! SPOON SIZE FREE SHREDDED WHEAT JUNIORS A PLASTIC NABISCO SPOONMAN from OUTER SPACE Jz unes nt TOUR CRACKED COLEOT AL These little aliens perched on your spoon and stared directly into your eyes as you shoveled Shredded Wheat Juniors into your maw.

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1991 Steve Urkel campaign pins bkla urke LOs INEWT PRESIDE PRESIDENT FOR THE PEOPLE? CRACKED COM As if anyone needed more reason to buy a cereal called Urkel-O's, they threw in these dubious campaign buttons.

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1955 One square inch of the Yukon Get FREE Gold Rush Land Today REAL DEED OF OWNERSHIP 01 SOUARE INCH OF LAND IN YURON OOLD RUSH COUNTRY NOW IN THESE DELICIDDS QUAKER CEREALST You'l AVOITT Actually Own sq. inch of Yukon Land yo0t QUAKER Scnrt WTAT nite PDet CEREAL

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1974 An elaborate rock:yoinking device Post NEW YABBA DABBA DOO! Larger FLNTSTONE 501 ORLINE FRUITY Size FLAORS OME ROCK PLASTIC PEBBLES GRABBER INSIDE THIS BO! u CU O Extondsa 102 ORACKEDC Fruity Pebbles missed a golden opportunity to call this thing a Yabba Dabba Grabba.

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King Vitamin's Royal Racing 70'S Coach ISSSIDE! KINGVITAMAN'S QAKER Royal Racing Coach THE 100% VITAMINE IRON CEREAL NET WL 9 02 INSIDE! Roval Racing Coach CRACKED CON The box boasts that King Vitaman is so up-to-date, his Royal Coach runs on gyro power. You're telling me King Vitamin harnessed gyro power in the

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1975 Terrariums EARTH Dag AD PACKET INSIDE ONE FLUTHER BURBANKE SWEET RLASIL AD FINE SEEDS TTHIS OF 3 DIFFERENT JUSTFOLLOW THE SULDLE DRECTIONS Box PLASTIC ONTHE SEED PACKET Terrarum TERRARIUIME THON ACTUAL LIZE 3 EACONE COMES COMPLETE LAS AT 10402 AN PAOMET Srfy AA ANO FINE SEEDS BSMOTHE LOECIONS PACICET Instead of

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1979 A sci-fi light beam CALEFEAOR TED CEREAL+ IMALLOW BITS ESNATINN ST ntotvek WANV bern Iny sphotos AB EK TGEK STA MTOR'S BEAM! LIGHT S100 ORR FOR YOURS CRACKED When they say light beam, what the really mean is: we have a sh*t ton of flashlights and a promo deal with

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Balloon-powered vehicles Mini-Skateboard FREE eTo 8 INSIDE! COOKIE Race therm: trade them Avaifable ind different CrispR colors and 6ditferent desionst FREE Coleccan sixt Okay, SO they weren't actually rideable. But the names alone make them worth the price of admission: you could collect Cookie Jarvis Skateboards, Freakies Speed Boats,

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1989 Ghost hunting equipment Kellogg's CNOST FREE DETIGTOB INSIDE PLAY WITH YOU FRIENOS APPLE JACKS CRACKEDO This high-tech instrument was suspiciously similar to a flimsy strip of paper. You'd hold it in your hand, remain completely still for several minutes, and if it moved at all in that time... there

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1973 A miniature printer ALUE 2D ONE PLASTIC POCKET PRINTER 11110111 RPE ALLLLLLI EITHER LLLLLLLLIL ALPHABET EMBOSSER OR SYMBOLS NUMBERS EMBOSSER Printer is doing some heavy lifting here, as it was really just an inkless embossing stamp that clamped down and left the faint mark of a letter on

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1986 Straight- up money Ralston USoRRVGY FREE HIISTORICAL CURRENCY UTORI NNEVERY BOXI EVERY OMIw BOX orn T IN nk Areoyo Almond CTnt Cattactue cuuntty Goiurs pget Beio o Ainaalie tks oney HTE sY aliht CRACKEDO Ralson bribed shoppers to buy their Almond Delight with this oddly Doge-ish copy: Every box has

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1984 Knockoff Transformers ellogg's Provides FREE INSIDE 8 essental HONEY vilamins &tron 5TAROT SMACKS COLLECT NESSWERIENED EESCEWEENT HONEY SMACKIN GOOD! ORACKEDCO Kellogg's stepped to the motherfrickin' Transformers franchise with their Starbots. They didn't even turn into characters, just... other vehicles: Have plenty of fun on land and in the air

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1955 US Navy Frogmen FLAKES FLAKES -itin THE IRIFA- Thet t fa SLL wre Deeuaterwaturyullt 4E NAVY FREE FROGMAI FREE FROGMAN Des PACKAGE and THIS #N THIS PACKAGE IN wimaE SACRO LSE t here fresst CRACKEDcO These were little cartesian divers that ran on high pressure propellant CAKA baking powder). This

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1909 Funny Jungleland Moving Pictures Klloggd FUNNY JUNGLELAND MOVING-PICTURES CRACKEDO This was technically a mail-in offer -- -they'd mail you the book with two proofs of purchase or a single dime -- but it was the first cereal box prize, and it kicked off an enduring tradition.

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