11 Divine Commandments for Writing Road Runner Cartoons


Animator Chuck Jones, in his autobiography Chuck Amuck: The Life and Times of an Animated Cartoonist, shared these sacred rules for maintaining the inner logic of the Road Runner universe.  Meep meep!

11

THOU SHALT PURCHASE ALL PRODUCTS FROM THE ACME CORPORATION AGME RACKEDCOM THE FINE PRODUCTS OF ACME TURN UP IN OTHER CARTOONS AS WELL. THE TINY TOON ADVENTURES TOOK PLACE IN ACME ACRES, WHILE THE CLIMAX OF WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT TAKES PLACE IN THE WORLD-FAMOUS ACME WAREHOUSE.

10

THOU SHALT NOT HARM THE COYOTE [UNLESS YOU'R THE COYOTE) - CRACKEDCOM YOU NEVER SEE THE ROAD RUNNER INFLICT PHY SICAL HARM ON WILE E. COYOTE. WHY BOTHER WHEN HE'S SO CAPABLE OF INJURING HIMSELF? THE OCCASIONAL TRUCK OR TRAIN DID DAMAGE BUT ONLY WHEN WILE E. STEPPED IN FRONT OF

9

THOU SHALT NOT SPEAK CEXCEPT FOR MEEP MEEP] THERE WAS A NO DIALOGUE RULE IN ROAD RUNNER CARTOONS. OUR HEROES COULD ONLY MAKE TWO SOUNDS: 'MEEP MEEP' OR YOWLS OF PAIN. FOR SOME REASON, WILE E. COULD TALK IN BUGS BUNNY CARTOONS.

8

THOU SHALT STAY ON THE ROAD IT'S ROAD RUNNER. NOT BARNYARI RUNNER. NOT FOREST RUNNER. ROAD. ROAD RUNNER. THAT'S WHY THE ANIMATORS ALWAYS KEPT HIM ON THE PAVEMENT.

7

THOU SHALT LIVE IN THE AMERICAN SOUTHWEST CRACKEDOO THE SOUTHWEST, SPECIFICALLY, THE ARID, CACTUS-FILLED DESERT. IS THE NATURAL ENVIRONMENT OF ROAD RUNNERS AND COYOTES. GOOD THING ACME DELIVERED IN THE AREA.

6

THOU SHALT NEVER GIVE UP THE PURSUIT IN EPISODE 2 BEEP BEEP), THE COYOTE WAS INJURED MORE THAN TWENTY TIMES. ESTIMATED TIMES HE SHOULD HAVE DIED: 341. WHY NOT JUST GIVE UP AND ORDER A PIZZA? BECAUSE WILE E. IS A FANATIC, THAT'S WHY.

5

THOU SHALT SUFFER EXTREME HUMILIATION CRACKED COM WHILE THE COYOTE IS OFTEN PHYSICALLY HARMED, HE SUFFERS NO LONG-TERM DAMAGE. THE SAME CANNOT BE SAID OF WILE E'S EGO, WHICH BEARS THE PERMANENT BRUISE OF ABJECT FAILURE.

4

THOU SHALT SUCCUMB TO THE LAW OF GRAVITY GRACKEDCOM ONE MIGHT BELIEVE THAT THE COYOTE'S GREATEST ENEMY IS THE ROAD RUNNER. IN ACTUALITY, HIS MOST DANGEROUS FOE IS SIR ISAAC NEWTON, WHOSE LAW OF UNIVERSAL GRAVITATION DICTATED SEVERAL THOUSAND DROPS INTO THE UNFORGIVING CANYON BELOW.

3

THOU SHALT HAVE SYMPATHY FOR THE COYOTE JONES TOOK INSPIRATION FROM MARK TWAIN'S DESCRIPTION OF A COYOTE: 'A LIVING, BREATHING ALLEGORY OF WANT. HE IS ALWAYS HUNGRY. HE IS ALWAYS POOR, OUT OF LUCK, AND FRIENDLESS

2

THOU SHALT NOT CAPTURE OR EAT THE ROAD RUNNER GRAGKEDCOM LIKE THE GREEK MYTH OF SISYPHUS, THE TRICKSTER FOREVER ROLLING A BOULDER UP A HILL, WILE E. COYOTE IS DOOMED TO A LIFETIME OF MASSIVE EFFORT WITH NO EARTHLY REWARD.

1

THOU SHALT MEET DOOM WHEN USING ACME PRODUCTS ACCORDING TO JONES, ONLY TWO FORCES COULD HARM THE COYOTE. ONE WAS HIS OWN INEPTITUDE. THE OTHER WAS THE POOR CRAFTSMANSHIP OF ACME PRODUCTS, BE THEY DETONATORS, ANVILS, OR ROCKET-POWERED ROLLER SKATES.