15 Fast Food “Innovations” That Were Just… Regular Food

We go to Taco Bell to essentially drink ground beef; you don't have to dress it up with a fancy name. Let's just agree to call a sloppy joe a sloppy joe, instead of… well, you'll see:

15

McStuffins were Hot Pockets. McDonalds wanted to get in on the scalding pouch pastry game with two of their signature flavor profiles: ...chiCkEN teriyaki, and ...pepperoni pizza.

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14

The Priazzo was uncookably thick deep-dish pizza. Pizza Hut threw an Italian-sounding name on a casserole that was SO thick, it took longer to cook than anyone was willing to wait for it.

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13

The Bell Beefer' was a sloppy Joe. Look, Taco Bell is great at coming up with exciting new ways to funnel ground beef down our necks. But horking down something called a beefer is where Americans draw the line.

12

Peg Leg Chicken was a drumstick. CRACKED COM Long John Silver's tried to crawl from the sea onto land in the 70's and 80's by offering a fried drumstick. Wait -- is that supposed to be... Long John Silver's missing leg???

11

The McHotdog danced on Ray Kroc's grave. hot dog Even though the Krocs started off in the hot dog biz, Ray Kroc later refused to sell them at McDonalds because he couldn't be sure the meat was high enough quality. Turns out: Americans don't really care about the quality

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10

Shake 'em Up Fries were DIY cheese fries. CRACKED COM Burger King gave customers the experience of being a real fry chef! Customers would dump a packet of flavoring into a bag of fries, and shake the whole thing up until every fry was sticky as hell.

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9

The Gold 'n' Grill just slapped a pineapple slice on a burg. $1.10 CRACKED.COM McDonald's big idea in 1984 was to huck a slab of pineapple on top of a regular cheeseburger, presumably to tear this great nation apart at the seams Hawaiian pizza had exposed.

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8

The Mcspaghetti is exactly what's on the tin. Ordering a Chicken McDo with Mcspaghetti was a needlessly long way of ordering a chicken leg and some spaghetti- but a really -- quick way to get heartburn.

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7

Dinner Baskets turned fast food workers into waiters. BURG KINC CRACKED COM In 1992, Burger King introduced an option to make their overworked staff deliver your meal right to your face and all but baby-bird it to ya.

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6

The 'McLobster was a lobster meat hot dog. This abomination (which should have been called a Slobster Joe, first of all) had trouble gaining traction between the coasts because it's hard to ship lobster inland before it spoils.

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5

Bigfoot Pizza' was just o-big pizza. Its whole... thing was that it was too big: too big for minimum wage-earning delivery guys to comfortably hold it, and too big for your ravenous family to snarf it down in one sitting.

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4

Bundles were just sliders. Burger King's laughably small burgers were fun for the whole family: not quite enough to satiate a child, and a choking hazard for adults!

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3

Fries + onion rings Frings. You know that unique exhiliration of finding an onion ring in your french fries? Jack in the Box attempted to replicate that, but achieved the opposite: the devastating betrayal of being denied sufficient onion rings.

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2

The McJordan was a bacon cheeseburger. That's it. The quickest way into every American's heart (and gut) in the early 90's was Michael Jordan. And, apparently, the blues. The commercial made Jordan croon a bluesy tune with a mouthful of bacon chee.

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1

The Double Sensation' was a twin-crusted pizza. AneHu D SENSATION TUEA CRACKED.COM Pizza Hut gave customers in Singapore more of what nobody really likes all that much- the crust! They called it a pizza within a pizza, but it was realy just an excuse to fill you up with more

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