39 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, May 20, 2025

‘Hello darkness my good sis…’
39 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, May 20, 2025
alfie @alfienxo.1 13h ... i'm constipated and celibate the way i don't give a shit or fuck 15 2.3K 20K 320K
ren @featureswifts - 16h s ... me when i turned 2 @plutogo... May 18 Ruby Chicken Combination... The idea of my age not starting with a 1 anymore 28 4.6K 117K del 1.4M
hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge 9h ... * introducing my gf* yes she is nice but you have to be careful 31 1.7K 23K 527K
sabunny @mama_moons.7 7h ... boyfriends come and go .. reply guys stay forever ... ... against ur will even... 58 1.5K 13K 211K
T*nner @mulhlland_drive : 22h ... I'v had a $50 bill on my desk since February that i've mentally used to justify at least $400 of spending 1 372 12K del 176K
no context memes @weirddalle . 16h G ... When you're cooking and the recipe says chill in the fridge for 1 hour 33 3.6K 48K 984K
G ... Mr. Bitches @desivirgil 21h I have no issue with this man because he once let me cut in front of him at Joe's Pizza in Williamsburg in 2018, I hope to one day repay the kindness if we ever find ourselves in a queue together again. CINEMA 505 @CINEMA505 May 16 Benito Skinner em Overcompensating. 4 59 5.2K del 160K
Jared @b1g_damage . 4h ... 3 hours of sleep got me thinking shit like I Hate People Who Laugh 10 1.6K 12K 134K
Dudes Posting Their ... 7 @Dudespostin... . 10h s ... Become ungovernable ООО «Союз S Юридический адрес: 119311, Москва Раменки, пр. Вер C41 Фактический адрес: г. Екатери ИНН/ОГРН: 77297053 N!ÃO НЯО ЦZ ВАША ПОСЫЛКА в ПОСТАМАТЕ 08:00- - - без вых 30 TOBAPOB ва ЯЕТ! J. @ ceciarmy 39 265 6.9K del 275K
chaotic memes @memechaotic 17h G ... Sydney Adamu @sydadamu When he listens to you 04:00 PM 27 May 24 6,425 Retweet 57 Quote Tweets 8,555 Likes Natalie Berzatto @sugarberzatto 5m Replying to @sydadamu What does Brazil have to do with this?? 12 2 288 del Sydney Adamu @sydadamu 2m Replying to @sugarberzatto I couldn't find a green flag 43 30 1,178 55 2K 45K 445K
KGABO @lempapison 19h ... My manager who is on sick leave looking at me (also on sick leave) when we meet at another company for interviews 186 4.7K 54K del 734K
Shitpost Ben @shitpostben. 15h S ... Castle doors: *locked* Invaders with a huge log: @dr.shitpost_er 0:07 70 8.5K 122K del 1.6M
Adolph Himmy Coors @SmoothZyn13 13h G ... Day one of internship which I earned purely by my own merit. Pretty sick riding with my dad to work since he also works there. N 55 499 49K 942K
Ig+ % @ihatefruitsz. 23h S ... grad boring af 241 11K 130K 1.3M
nadi. Co @luvofrare . 8h ... i wish we had confessionals at work, i would eat them mfs up 110 8K 23K 593K
halo @pIain_tofu . 2 23h ... imagine you meet someone who checks all your boxes. only catch is, their guilty pleasure is Arby's. 63 191 2.3K del 105K
future cigarette mom @thr0at_g0at_. 12h . my boss thinks i'm ООО for some serious ass surgery.. they're gona be so gagged when they see me pull up to the office with a bigger rack 16 17 2K 184K
O Nicki-kay @NutsAccounts 10h ... John Lennon Singer-songwriter and musician Overview Music groups Songs Albums IS НЕ STUPID WHY WOULD YOU GO THERE Bom Assassinated Oct 9, 1940 Dec 8, 1980 John Lennon Murder Site Liverpool Mater eet View Central Overview John Lennon Murder Site 4.4 (108) Historical landmark John Winst was an English singer, ctions 12 889 12K 158K
kira @kirawontmiss . 3h ... i'm cooked ChatGPT 4o Share Hey ChatGPT! Look under there! Under where? Lol, I've made you say underwear Haha, well played! Say home.! Home Latitude: 52.397400 Longtitude: 13.062661 260 145 5.6K 167K
meredith @themeredith . 22h O ... So close! This is called soup dooney and broke @fincherslay May 17 water based cooking pov you started water based cooking and now your skin is clear, your stomach is thriving and you recover from illness overnight 81K 43 3.5K del 1.6M
film twt gains @FILMGAINS 21h S ... me when i serve pop culture brain rot while still making use of critical thinking skills and keep a balanced rot-to-wisdom ratio 104 13K 80K 1.4M
Michelangelo @michelangeluv.2 23h Nerd c*ck is always humongous. I don't know the science behind that but they always pack insane heat. 257 3.1K 50K 2.4M
MIDWEST @midwestem_ope . 22h s ... Midwest vs. Everybody OPE. vs EVERYBODY Spring in the East Coast Spring in the Midwest HELL IS DOLLAR GENERAL REAL 35 687 22K 472K
a @aallleeexxxxxx1 . 2 21h ... iknow joe biden has cancer and that's what everyone is talking about right now but what about me? i i also have something going on. my right knee is kind of wonky 21 1.1K 29K 569K
james @jms_tny . . 17h hello darkness my good sis... 2 460 3.7K
tyler woodward @tyler02020202 - 1 16h ... when the man you had to pray to god to unlove likes your instagram story 10 489 6.9K 126K
cyndi risa @_cyntax.1 19h ... My parents immigrated to the states so I could become a DJ 12 336 10K 230K
s Tom Smyth @Tom_Smyth_ . 12h ... my five year old cousin who fucking hates jay leno is really excited about this V Variety @Variety 14h 'Toy Story 5' Adds Conan O'Brien variety.com/2025/film/news... 4 330 7.7K 221K
josh @cybersnitch - 12h ... Chefs talking to the vegetables: hana @eieniffy . May 19 yes ur chopped and cooked and ur life is lowk over deal with it 14 1.4K 13K 250K
chase @_chase 17h ... leaving the thrift store excited about ur haul then getting home and realizing u bought some used clogs, a pair of sailor's breeches, and a child's t shirt that just has the word trucks printed on it 22 809 21K 273K
@imagesaico... 12h s ... Images Al Could Never Re... Just me and my orange girl cat against the world x 2 comments Moon Me but orange boy cat 3h Reply magdalette Creator So not you 1s ago Reply 3 146 3.1K 19K
i like food @messedupfoods . 9h O ... dias se QU teste OAT ID I a beste 180 EXTRA CREA Kroger '1 CHICKEN BRAND GOO STOCK NO NO NO GONE F PRESERVATIVES sproyGel Red FAT FREE TO wil QUA Do NOT EAT 181 OA my LUNCH! - QUICK 100% 1-MIN WHOLE G - 10 OATMEAL CA I have 7 Shrimp and 4,639 Rice ADE 30 718 195K 17K
Blake TM @NeilNevins . 1 13h ... explaining to my wife the minor existential crisis I had in high school when I got invited to a cool party for once and a friend tells everyone give Blake any cartoon and I bet he knows who created it. A girl throws out Hey Arnold and I mumble Craig Bartlett. 24 678 24K 365K
no context memes @weirddalle . 16h O ... 2015 I don't need you This streaming is pretty good. anymore pal! Hello old friend!!! 2025 Watch Exclusive content here N amazon Prime hulu Diampd HBO YouTube GO 207 5.2K 85K del 1.3M
Errai @errai . 13h ... Can - get a roofbeer? Bartender: a root beer? You got it Me: no, a roofbeer. We grab a six-pack and sit on the roof, gazing at the stars and confiding in each other to the tune of cicadas and distant cars Bartender: (taking apron off with a warm smile) a roofbeer, coming up... 6 987 14K 136K
eleanor @dimestorepaglia 23h ... last night i dreamt i went to wuhu island again wii sports resort wuhu island Short videos All Videos Images Shopping Wuhu Island Overview Wuhu Island is a fictional tropical island and the largest in an archipelago from the game Wii Sports Resort. The island features a volcano named Maka Wuhu in the center-right, Wu... Wikipedia, +2 more 480 7.4K 73K 8
Wild TikToks с @wildtiktokss. 4h S ... It turns out god isn't the only one that can judge me 15 256 6.1K 63K
bio (^-7-^)!! @bio_bio . 23h ... after staying the night with someone, I don't do a walk of shame, they just spank me like a loyal horse they want to set free and tell me just get out of here... go!! get out of here before I change my mind and I gallop home. free with the wind in my hair and a name on my lips 16 1.5K 16K 185K
G ... take my prostate Joe Biden @lib_crusher 14h I got bad news kids @selovelenaa May 19 Parody account justin bieber balding at 31 years is insane 421 1.5K 108K del 7.8M

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