23 Funny College Application Mishaps Seen by Admissions Workers

‘We had a kid whose last name was ‘Null’ that caused problems with the database’
23 Funny College Application Mishaps Seen by Admissions Workers

Those who work in college admissions read an incredible amount of applications over the course of their career. Every year, though, a couple still stand out. Some are remembered for good reasons, and result in scholarships and happy, thick envelopes. Others are commemorated for their glorious failure, and might get sent around not with a stamp of approval, but with an email subject line of “you gotta read this.”

The admissions crew that spends time on Reddit came through when asked for some of their favorite missteps they’d ever had the misfortune of reading. It’ll almost certainly make you feel much better about your cliche personal essays. Also, dismayed when you realize that a shocking amount of admissions essays contain sex scenes.

kingoros . 11y ago One student talked about how he killed his abusive father.
yeastybeast 11y ago I got a handful of kids each year writing their college essays on losing their virginity. Always cringeworthy.
 . 11y ago We had a kid whose girlfriend updated his profile so his first name was BestBoyfriendInTheWorld in the admissions system.
We also had a kid whose last name was Null that caused problems with the database.
slutworship . 11y ago When I dealt with students applying we got tons of calls from parents with questions about writing the essay and admitting that they were writing it for their son or daughter.
I like the idiots who show up a week and a half into the semester (last day to add classes) and haven't even applied! We are in the middle of nowhere ND. Last year we had two brothers call to say they were coming ... and I said: Today's the last day to add, I don't think we can do that this semester. They respond with: No, we landed at the airport. We'll be on campus in a couple hours. Can you help us apply?
Massage therapy student was revolted after learning they would have to physically touch people
CowboySpencer 11y ago I work at a private college in central Texas. Recently, someone called to withdraw their application because of the cases of Ebola in Dallas, about 2 hours north of where we are. Yeah - you're probably not really cut out for college anyway.
slapthefrenchman 11y ago There was one applicant I remember who turned in an admission essay detailing his time as a clandestine operative for the CIA and informing us that he was the guy who invented the M16 rifle. The second was easily researchable on the internet (seriously, did he not think we'd Google that?) and the first...well...yeah.
stancaples . 11y ago My mom worked in her University's admissions department, where recommendation letters from the applicant's parent were surprisingly common (but were not taken into consideration, of course). One time, a parent wrote one of these letters for their kid, but listed off reasons their student shouldn't be let in. It was for stuff like, Little Johnny is really lazy, and he isn't smart enough to go to this school. How about that for tough love.
WowzerBowze4 a 11y ago In the middle of an admissions interview a kid answered his cell phone and proceeded negotiate the price of the weed he was selling. | just stared at him and he winked at me. We let him in because it was a for-profit and we had no standards.
RhythmicSkater . 11y ago Not an admission officer, but in my senior year, a girl in my class changed all of her social media names to her name... backwards. So Jane Kim was Mik Enaj; the theory being that if no one could find her, no one could verify her stories. I think she's at Harvard now.
frenchieRU 11y ago I worked in graduate admissions for a full school year. We had a guy send in Hitler themed artwork. Also had another guy who applied to the MBA program who had embezzled money from his place of work and openly admitted to it in his application essay. Не was admitted and was featured on the school's webpage for a semester.
TDenverFan . 11y ago Not an admissions officer, but I had a teacher who used to be one at Gettysburg College in PA, which is obviously a very historic area. She said every year at least 2 or 3 people would come to interviews dressed in full colonial garb.
 11y ago I used to work in Enrolments for a university in Melbourne, Australia. It doesn't have a great reputation. Suffice to say, people got in who literally couldn't spell their name. I'm completely serious. Dozens of applicants spelt their name incorrectly. They have tertiary educations now. A couple of them are nurses.
JMCrown 11y ago I spent 12 years in admissions at very selective schools (top 25 US News). The stories I could tell. One girl had an opening sentence to her essay: I looked into my boyfriend's eyes as he unwrapped the condom...
strawberrykoff 11y ago Edited 11y ago I worked at a military graduate school, so most applications were pretty boring and straightforward. However we had one applicant who included a poem he'd written along with his transcripts, GRE scores, etc. I don't remember the whole thing (we printed it out and taped it up in our cubicle because it was so damn funny) but it started Why on earth babies get burnt? Into ashes they get turnt.
 11y ago My friend's neighbor wrote his Yale essay about how he got drunk one time but still had the moral compass to turn down a girl who was completely wasted. Не got in.
zetaphi938 . 11y ago The seemingly innocent looking applications. Go to do a background check - violent felonies.
There are at least a hundred application essays that write about sex. The question asks for: Talk to me about your most memorable experience and there are 100s describing what it's like to have sex, what happened during that time, and how that somehow managed to apply to them succeeding in college. If I didn't have any moral qualms I'd be posting all this stuff anonymously. We even removed the question to stop getting these types of essays, but поре. One of our questions was What is your greatest personal accomplishment? Nope - people still SOMEHOW say looking forward to or performing
asphaltpylon . 11y ago Stupid little things that they don't think to check/change.like the one whose email address for the application was icecreamforyoubaby (say it out loud).
Kittenlmmaculate . 11y ago I used to be a transfer admissions counselor and our school really wanted athletes regardless of GPA. Worse was they had to write an essay on why they were transferring.. And at least 2 wrote it on their phones, primarily in text speak and abbreviations. I still had to let them in because they submitted their essay.
Riadyt · . 11y ago That they were dead. The mom was still in denial and sent out a ton of applications.

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