35 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, May 12, 2025

‘What is everyone’s plan to make sure I’m happy for the rest of my life?’
35 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, May 12, 2025

Less than a year after we discovered how many Lowes a Rob Lowe could rob if a Rob Lowe could rob Lowes, there’s yet another fact we now know for certain about the Parks and Recreation alum: how many fistfights he sparked between David Spade and Chris Farley.

In a clip from The Rich Eisen Show, Lowe detailed just how much the two comedy legends adored him while filming 1995’s Tommy Boyrevealing that the pair even came to blows over enjoying a spa day with him. “The big fight was because I came into the hotel after shooting. Spade was not shooting that day but Farley was, and Farley and I did a sauna and a jacuzzi,” the actor recalled. After Farley recounted his relaxing spa trip to Spade the next day, the pair started swinging, physically fighting over the St. Elmo’s Fire star like he was “the girl.”

Meanwhile, Tom Segura’s mom had an equally negative reaction to Segura’s new Netflix show, Bad Thoughts. In a special Mother’s Day screening of the upcoming series, she refused to mince words about her son’s work, denouncing it as “an insult to humanity.” “I am beyond vomit,” she exclaimed after watching a clip of the black comedy, set to hit the streamer on Tuesday. 

Unlike Segura’s mom, we hope these tweets have you beyond laughter, the funniest of which are about the enigma of “leftover bacon,” knocking on laminated particle boards and Swedish Fish and chips.

Kayla @luv2read13.1 19h I'm not arguing with anyone wearing an apple watch.. whatever you say Inspector Gadget 13 306 5.4K 82K
patrick. @imPatrickT - 12h ... Nathan Fielder is the first person in history to have said these words in this order You had a wet dream about Einstein? 4 55 1.2K del 22K
chaotic memes @memechaotic - 13h ... tummydrummer-deactivated2014022 me nd my pirate girlfriend  me: bb ur hands r so cold her: that me hook 24 3.5K 55K 853K
Cacophony Kid xx @CacoKidOH.2 22h ... Fuck chatgpt, wikipedia is my ride or die. If I'm gonna be misinformed I want to be misinformed BY THE PEOPLE 174 44K 334K 3.7M
Ben Garofalo @garofaloben 23h G ... Fuck it we reading the whole file at once 119 235 5.4K 195K
folu @notfolu 18h S ... genuinely funny that the rotating tile on my phone home screen that highlights pictures deemed algorithmically important by the photo app has been stuck on this picture of a roast chicken I made in January 2024 5GUC Photos Instagram Photos M TRR 77 5.7K 15 del 51K
Jason, ex inferis @benedictsred 22h ... My mom talks on speaker phone like a hostage negotiator 14 1.3K 23K 325K
пух @aaronrrey 12h ... i lost my job chapstick n now my car chapstick is in my work bag n my room chapstick is in my car n everything is just a fucking mess 71 2.8K 17K 296K
Out of Context Huma... @NoContextHu... 2h s ... I IDON'T THINK YOU REALIZE Coca-Cola mentos HOW CLOSE WE CAME TO A WORLD ENDING EVENT 42 134 3.4K 99K
via @atrophicbtrfly 17h ... they should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply 11 2K 26K 294K
Images Al Could Never Re... @imagesaico... 5h s ... Q https://www.quora.com  , How-do-y... How to spell out sexual moans - Quora Jul 3, 2018 - Wheeeee! Oinka oinka! Haaaaaaheeee! A-whooooga A-whoooooga! Aaaaaargh! Hneeeeeeeee! Fnrgh! Grunt grunt! Hinggggg! Whazzo! Boink! 18 326 2.1K 37K
a @aallleeexxxxxx1 - 22h ... my doctor said i should sleep for 3 days straight and eat more pasta 19 2.3K 22K 286K
Ernest Strawfield @FKAGEORGEY - May 11 ... why do people draw pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses?? is he hiding from himself?? much to think about.. more tweets from me later.. 85 3.8K 50K 758K
trash jones @jzux . 23h ... when i quit my job they asked me why and i said i got an opportunity I couldn't refuse. i didn't clarify that i meant the opportunity not to work there anymore 6 880 19K 206K
G ... Kaguya's Top Gal @hayasaka_aryan . 18h Boomer His grandson talking about that can't how hard it was even buy to afford 3 a used car houses 58 1.4K 26K 386K
good soup @es_pikopikola 22h ... ?? MIRROR CAMERA 258 19K 330K del 8.1M
hoecrusher ... @baseballmemes... 19h s ... used all the butter in the house to make cookies that sucked 55 3.5K 99K del 1.7M
Wild TikToks с @wildtiktokss . 2h s ... Not to act like a plant but sunlight kinda slaps + 254.51 4 73 1.2K 19K
i like food @messedupfoods . 22h G ... fish and chips? idk im swedish 98 4K 108K del 1.2M
slatt @slqttyo 23h s ... this is how mfs used to look at you when you coughed back in 2020 homelander reactions... @homelan... Jul 18, 2024 homelander disgusted looking at firecracker coughing #theboys 0:03 / 0:03 200 9.7K 125K del 2.8M
G @laeswrld 13h ... trying to breathe with a clogged nose on one side GIF EVIL 91 5K 51K del 948K
clare @sadderlizards . A May 11 ... i'm gonna tell the flowers what you did. and then they'll tell the bees and the bees will tell the birds. good luck next time you come to the meadow bro 34 9.1K 53K 801K
a @aallleeexxxxxx1 - 19h ... what is everyone's plan to make sure im happy for the rest of my life 17 2.3K 10K 175K
Boring_Business @BoringBiz_. 18h ... 3 levels of wealth > No work laptop on vacation > Take work laptop on vacation > No work laptop on vacation 52 245 7.5K 273K
regular sadmeister @gardeinqueen . May 11 ... you will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn 48 3.1K 32K 503K
Wild TikToks с @wildtiktokss . 4h O ... + A moment that felt like goofys yell 237.3K ... 1,096 2 28 1.3K del 21K
tomi @scrungeonmaster - May 11 ... can't even knock on wood these days. that's why it's all going bad. knock on laminated particle board. go fuck yourself. that's insane 76 14K 122K 1.4M
Noor @Noorthevirgo . 21h Happy mother's day to the eldest daughter in each family 91 5K 18K 519K
Transfer Portal @NCAAPortal May 11 G ... I'm not familiar with leftover bacon Nick Ford @Ford_Nick. May 10 What do you do with leftover bacon... 188 91K 7.2K del 3.3M
Images AI Could Never R... @imagesaico... 22h G ... ALI @bby_foxx 15h god am i craving a big mac right now or a big tasty with bacon or both 1 1 Patrick @Patrick14129685 Replying to @bby_foxx Or a big Pat ? 12:59 a.m. 13 Mar 20 Twitter for Android 14 204 3.9K del 40K
Images AI Could Never Re... @imagesaico... 6h s ... I had a buddy that would set his normal alarm plus a separate alarm for 3am so that he would wake up in the middle of the night and be excited about how much longer he had left to sleep. Still not sure if he was a genius or a psycho 9 78 2K 19K
Out of Context Hum... @NoContextH... 12h G ... Everytime I see this I can only imagine 684 13K 71 del 291K
atrophy wife @zuza_real.1 18h sorry man i need to head out. i crossed my eyes and accidentally saw the labyrinth that hides in plain sight. you know the one 14 1.2K 13K 159K
WholesomeMemes @WholesomeMeme 21h ... The introvert at the house party The house owner's pet 3.5K 11 219 del 79K
oreo & monkey @oreoeocat 15h ... I think know which one she is ugh @ughfinewhatever May 10 some cats are just cats but some are aliens del 235K 58 1.5K 21K

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