Owning five to 10 goldfish is an unparalleled joy -- as long as you haven't actually felt joy since last April.
Add some realism to those heroic fantasies you have in the shower.
It turns out numbers do lie, and are very good at it.
Note: All of these require a certain lack of sanity to want to do.
When you were lurking under that damp, wormy rock last week, this is what all the Internet kids were going on about.
The nice people of the Internet shared the hell out of these last week. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties!
It was a week of ninjas and zombies. If you'd have gone for pirates and hobos too, then we would have had a party.
Yo, don't act like you're eating those Hardee's Burgers every day.
If only Brawndo irrigation was our biggest problem?
In space, everyone can see your dick church.
When buying a car, get out quick and don't let the salesperson throw in any add-ons.
Shhh... Everything is going to be okay.
If space doesn't kill you, snoring just might.
Turns out morphin' time didn't work out too well in the long term.