Cracked Archive - Sex

5 Insignificant Things That Determine Who You Have Sex With

Turns out there are even more things that get people to consider knowing us in the biblical way, and they're so subtle and random that pants-wearing just seems stupid now.


The 7 Most Agonizing Sex Injuries on Record

Sex sells, but drama subscribes. Put the two together, and you've got an irresistible list of injuries


The 5 Most Ruined Orgasms in Cinema History

Back in the day, most films had to combine some of their hottest scenes with dramatic or comedic content that may have furthered the purposes of the film but absolutely destroyed its orgasm-producing potential. Here are the worst.


5 Historic Sex Scandals That Put Bill Clinton to Shame

People have been sticking their bits in ill-advised places since the beginning of time, and history has its share of scandals where the details of the stories are actually quite a bit weirder.


5 Terrible Combinations Made From Great Things

Do you like things that are awesome? I sure do. And what's better than having one thing that's awesome? That's right, pure black tar heroin! Oh, wait, I mean two things that are awesome. Stuck together!


4 Evolutionary Explanations for Modern Annoyances

At one point each of these social mechanisms was probably the glue that held civilizations together, but we've come a long way since then and now they're just sort of annoying.


5 Ridiculous Sex Myths From History (You Probably Believe)

It turns out that a lot of what BBC dramas tell you about sex in history is just a fanciful cover for sex lives that didn't differ that much from our own.


Are You Secretly a Great Writer? Like Money? Read This.

Think you know more about everything than does? Time to put up or shut up.


6 Terrifying Things Nobody Tells You About Donating Sperm

To a young guy with not much money, sperm donation seems too good to be true. Having actually been a sperm donor, I can say that you had better be prepared for a long haul.


14 'Luxury' Sex Toys for the Extremely Rich and Creepy

Some rich people apparently can't stand the thought that they pleasure themselves like ordinary people. So they apparently do it the creepiest, most hilarious way possible.


5 Insane Ways Fear of Masturbation Shaped the Modern World

Back in olden days, doctors had as many cures for masturbation as there were 'symptoms.' Cures that helped shape the world you live in.


Using Occupy Wall Street to Pick Up Chicks

According to some popular search engine listings I've just scoured while looking for article ideas, there are an awful lot of people out there right now who are alone and furious with bankers and interested in Asian teens.


5 Sexual Innovations From People in Your History Text Books

It turns out that the great men and women lauded by society for mainstream discoveries, and the underground smut peddlers who advanced the art of masturbation, are often the same people.


The 7 Most Terrifying Rejected TV Ads

When directors audition, they don't obey standards & practices.


5 Things That Are Totally Unrelated to Hot, Hot Lesbian Sex

Finally, an article that has nothing to do with lesbians, and the many awesome ways they have sex with one another.