Cracked Archive - Sex
I am still determined to get several books published, so that I may enrich the world with my knowledge, and impress chicks who sell books enough to inspire them to have sex with me.
- By Daniel O'Brien
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- January 28, 2011
I am a fan of sex. Even when it's not nuzzling against my lap, I find it heartwarming to know it's still out there in the world. Yet sadly, there are people who insist on handling it recklessly.
- By Soren Bowie
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- January 03, 2011
Go ahead and get lost while your Kindle and I chat. I just want to talk some business.
- By Daniel O'Brien
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- December 31, 2010
Strep Throat: One woman uses her throat to tell people to stop being pussies.
- By Soren Bowie
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- December 27, 2010
There's nothing you can do about it, because the Universe is working to make sure the old man hates you forever.
- By Mark M.
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- December 18, 2010
Sometimes, joining a cult means finding yourself attached at the junk to a creepy weirdo who couldn't figure out a less shameless way to get laid.
- By Eric Yosomono
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- December 06, 2010
![The Beginning of a Very Confusing Adolescence [COMIC]](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/4/5/5/37455.jpg?v=1)
Kid's going to make for a terrible first boyfriend.
- By Fatawesome .com
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- December 05, 2010
Why is anyone naked, you know? Aren't we all, on some level, always naked, and also never naked? But on a more hometown level, I'm naked because I used my clothes to put out a fire someone started in your linen closet.
- By Daniel O'Brien
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- November 26, 2010
Thanks to romantic comedies and crappy comedians, we know that men are crude, shallow boors that only care about sex, and women are weepy sensitive hippies that only care about poetry and what's on the inside.
- By Christina H
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- November 09, 2010
![How to Really Solve The Problem of Teen Pregnancy [COMIC]](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/8/3/6/34836.jpg?v=1)
It's much simpler than you think.
- By Scott Meyer
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- November 03, 2010
![How to Refer to Someone's Life-Partner [COMIC]](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/0/7/6/34076.jpg?v=1)
There really is no non-awkard word for that.
- By Scott Meyer
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- October 23, 2010
![Snuggie Sutra: 10 Ways to Use Sleeves on a Blanket [CHART]](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/6/8/6/33686.jpg?v=1)
If you can suddenly reinvent keeping warm while getting cozy with a great novel, there's no reason you can't reinvent keeping warm while getting cozy with a great lover.
- By Lex Friedman
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- October 17, 2010
No matter how nasty you like to get in your leather-studded Bone Chamber, there are multiple species of the animal kingdom who still put you to shame.
- By Jim Yew
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- October 10, 2010
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