Cracked Archive - Sex

Men have gone above and beyond the call of duty -- risking life, limb and country in the name of boobies.

• By Rohan Ramakrishnan, Eddie Rodriguez
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• May 31, 2011

It's not enough to merely suck. The obnoxious drunk knows he must suck at ear splitting volumes.

• By S.D
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• May 15, 2011

It's our duty as men.

• By Scott Meyer
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• May 14, 2011

It's easy to recognize your nemesis (it's the one close friend you have who you probably once seriously contemplated murdering), but how do you cook for your nemesis in a way that forces him/her to acknowledge their laughable inadequacies?

• By Daniel O'Brien
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• May 13, 2011

Seanbaby proves beyond any shadow of a doubt, that romance guru and best-selling author of '1001 Ways to be Romantic', Gregory J.P. Godek is the stupidest, laziest waste of stem cells to ever 'write' a book.

• By Seanbaby
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• May 06, 2011

• By Chris Bucholz
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• April 19, 2011

• By Dennis Hong, Katherine Smith
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• April 06, 2011

Bragging about your stamina is a bad idea, it turns out.

• By Scott Meyer
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• March 16, 2011

Ladies are everywhere, science has proven it. Even as I write this I can see one across the room from me, sleeping soundly atop my favorite piano, and I can hear the other two showering down the hall.

• By Soren Bowie
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• March 14, 2011

In a time when everything from artificial tans to calf implants has become culturally acceptable, for some reason genitals usually get left out of the body-decoration process. The only real option until recently was choosing between carpet or hardwood floors. Well, not anymore!

• By Pauli Poisuo
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• March 10, 2011

• By Chris Bucholz
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• March 01, 2011

The most common form of online creepiness.

• By Stephen Cook
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• February 27, 2011

We've found seven people with the ego, the balls and the terrifying machinery to shout, 'Everyone in the world was boning wrong before I came along!'

• By Luke McKinney
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• February 26, 2011

According to science, the world around you is dangerously full of hidden aphrodisiacs that can land you in bed, and even in long-term relationships, with someone who's totally wrong for you.

• By Mark M., Kathy Benjamin, Sami Reeves
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• February 14, 2011

Every year, we hear too-cool cynics deride Valentine's Day as a holiday invented by greeting card companies that cynically exploit romantic love for profit. But we say, so what? Society has been exploiting romantic love since the day it was invented.

• By Robert Evans
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• February 13, 2011