Cracked Archive - Science

In order to find a legitimate comparison for the most anticipated and hotly debated product of all time, we had to stray outside the world of consumer goods ...

• By Hans_Solo
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• July 22, 2010

Geniuses tend to only be geniuses on one subject. Just as you don't ask Peyton Manning for soccer tips, you don't ask a veterinarian to do your prostate exam. And you really don't want to ask William Shockley about genetics.

• By Christina H
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• July 13, 2010

If you thought interspecies friendships were limited to Disney movies and the Chuck E. Cheese Pizza Time Theater, you'd be wrong.

• By Kristi Harrison, Jonathan Wojcik
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• July 01, 2010

Sorry guys, watching porn still deosn't make you a love machine.

• By Jack Mendoza
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• June 28, 2010

Outside of ruining the space-time continuum (let's face it, you'd do so purposefully), turns out you're pretty well dooming yourself as well.

• By Jacopo della Quercia
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• June 18, 2010

Not listed: The Cracked staff can wear its Mad Max gear out on the town and not get weird looks.

• By Cole Gamble, CRACKED Staff
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• June 11, 2010

Or you could spend three straight months of hurriedly trying to build a pyramid of corpses on a train track in 'Red Dead Redemption' before the train can come along to obliterate them.

• By CRACKED Staff
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• May 30, 2010

Science: Fiction's wet blanket since forever.

• By Johan Volkert
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• May 26, 2010

Next time you're offered a muffin, whip this article out and continue stuffing that Big Mac down your throat.

• By Christina H
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• May 25, 2010

Not unlike Clark Kent, babies everywhere have managed to fool the world with their mild-mannered public persona, masking the amazing superpowers nearly all of them possess.

• By Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
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• May 17, 2010

We would probably all be flying to work on rocket motorcycles by now if history's greatest geniuses hadn't spent their entire careers arguing over who had the biggest Bunsen burner.

• By Jack Mendoza
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• April 30, 2010

Most experienced surgeons and doctors will say they've seen it all. Most surgery is fairly routine, and it's only occasionally that you slice somebody open and some really crazy shit pops out. But when it does, man, crazy is definitely not an over-exaggeration.

• By Shelby Fero
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• April 12, 2010

All these experiments were very real and sounded very awesome. On the surface. The truth was a very different kind of animal.

• By Kathy Benjamin
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• April 08, 2010

People can't drive worth a shit. On the road, we're a bunch of inconsiderate jerks and science has proven it.

• By Dave Easton
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• April 07, 2010

The people that take the abstract concepts of art and the concrete realities of science and mix them together are just as crazy as you'd expect.

• By Robert Brockway
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• April 06, 2010