For all my zombie slaughter, I spend an equal amount of time inventing new ways to curse at the game.
Why let animals enjoy a natural buzz, when science is more than willing to step in and take that high to new hilarious, bizarre, kind of mean-spirited heights?
When women claim they're misunderstood, they're not kidding.
These disguises are so weird and utterly convincing, you won't you're looking at real animals until they're right behind you.
Science, you're really starting to chap our asses.
There are still
Thanks for nothing, Evolution.
Once again, we coming crashing down on life's stupid mysteries. You're welcome.
In space, nobody can hear you scream. Oh, not because sound doesn't exist there; you'd just get drowned out by the god damn racket all that stoic-looking cosmic stuff is making.
We're not talking about being bad at matching faces with names here. Science has found that your memory is basically a pathological liar, making things up as it goes along.
Everything needs to measured: Even things you don't want to touch, smell, look at, think about or even exist on the same physical plane as. Thankfully, that's where Science steps in.
Statistics say about 80 percent of you out there have at least one brother or sister. That's turning out to be hugely important, as science says whether or not you have siblings, and what order you were born in, has massive effects on who you are. Often not so great ones to boot.
The Cracked offices became considerably stinkier after this article made its rounds.
Are these UFOs alien? We're not saything that. We're just saying they're really, really weird.
Would you believe us if we told you it's the office itself that's making you sick? Because that's what the scientists are saying. And if science says it, it must be true.