It's impossible to believe so much inconvenience could be anything other than intentional, and I like to take a minute to let myself believe that maybe it is.
Seeking, as always, to provide dangerously underresearched advice to our readers, Cracked set to work dangerously underresearching this.
There are two kinds of scientists in this world -- those whose discoveries will lead the planet into a new era of enlightenment, and those whose research will inevitably be stolen by terrorists who enjoy dressing up as snakes. This article is dedicated to this second group.
We follow the advice of self-help books or motivational guides -- sure, a lot of those things are probably BS, but it can't hurt to give them a try, right? (Hint: Wrong.)
We can say with a candor close to absolute certainty that nobody on Earth will ever see warp drive starships or quad-breasted space women from the Crab Nebula, because for a number of reasons, the chances of us ever meeting any aliens are slim to none. Why? Well ...
We don't want to always be negative here. Are there ways you can trick yourself for the better? Sure.
The next time you have a dead body, whether it be something you hunted, purchased, or even once loved, why not let one of these meat puppet maestros work their magic?
You've probably heard the urban legend about the time it rained frogs somewhere, or seen news stories about a meteorite that crashed through a roof and landed feet away from somebody's recliner. But in the annals of baffling objects that have come raining down from the heavens, you find much weirder examples.
In many ways, our opinions define us. And yet, every single day, scores of weird and seemingly insignificant things are twisting our preferences.
Good news: For absolutely no effort or cost whatsoever, you can make profound differences in the world.
Please excuse the brevity of this article. A true list of everyone who was awesome in space should be everyone who ever went to space.
Sometimes the craziest ideas have science on their side, so don't be so quick to call your doctor a quack if he or she recommends these.
Obviously, you don't stand a chance in the wild -- not when animals like these are out there murdering each other with what might as well be magic powers.
Science has seen some epic trolling over the years, so much so that it at times makes 4chan look like a chamber of reasoned discourse.