We've worked long and hard here at Cracked to make it clear that the past was badass. All you have to do is sift through old-timey photos, and you quickly realize that people back then possessed neither sanity nor a sense of self-preservation.
If you aren't currently living in a country occupied by a hostile army, you can't really imagine what it's like knowing that trying to leave home means getting your head blown off. But when people want out badly enough, they find a way. And those ways are absolutely amazing.
in honor of President's Day, I am thrilled to provide you with a closer look at one of the great men who served our country as King: Abraham Lincoln. Loved by many, hated by some, shot by one and feared by anyone under 6'4", Abraham Lincoln covered a divided America with a warm, bushy neck beard of protection.
We have it better than our ancestors in every way but one: How raging our parties are.
History has shown that through no fault of your own, you can be revered as some religion's immortal deity. All you need is to be in the right place at the right time.
We usually think of fighter pilots as kick ass cowboys of the sky, living out our video game fantasies and handing out bitchin' nicknames all day long. But today's fighter pilots have nothing on the first of their kind -- the ones who appeared in the first world war.
The satirically-impaired lash out against the artist, often accusing him or her of the very behavior that is being satirized. Isn't that awesome? No. It's kind of a depressing actually, but here are five of my favorite examples where the target just seemed to miss the point.
We all have personal failures and weaknesses, but a president will work so hard at crafting a specific public persona that we're shocked every time one gets in a sticky situation. With that in mind, here are some of the stranger facts about American presidents that almost never get mentioned in history class.
Real-life bad guys understand that dry, drawn-out political subterfuge is much cheaper and more effective than a clone army. Then, occasionally, some crackpot leaps straight off the pages into our world, with brazen, insane and often ridiculous plans for world domination that grant him comic book supervillain status.
As it turns out, deus ex machina isn't strictly for fictional scenarios.
I dug deeper, stayed up entire nights, and spilled a warm combination of Dr. Pepper and bravery across my keyboard.
We love us some war heroes. Unfortunately, petty people and circumstances often get in the way of honoring these individuals.
There have been brilliant rebels who put their own world-changing ideas on the line, only to end up like Doc Brown in his alternate timeline: humiliated, ridiculed, ignored and/or straight driven to insanity.