Cracked Archive - History
55 Facts That Show The Past Was Absolutely Gross
Aren't you happy to live in the modern, hygienic world that exists today? It's infinitely better than the alternative you'd have to deal with if you lived centuries ago.
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- By Cracked Writers, Ryan Menezes
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23
23 Why Does Your Aunt Own Dumb Healing Crystals? (The Answer: Uh, Libido-Enhancing Cubicles)
Every stupid new age trend has to start somewhere -- in this case, in a closet full of sexy energies.
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- By Mark Hill
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- 8
Medieval Divorce Duels Were A Wild (But Fair) Brawl
Till death by blunt trauma do them part.
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- By Cedric Voets
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- 8
Danishes: The Bastard Mistake Pastry No Country Wants to Claim
France shuffled away to buy a pack of cigarettes, and that’s when labor disputes got involved.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 13
Victorian Christmas Cards Were Pure Merry Madness
Sending someone a Christmas card didn’t say 'Hope you get a lot of gifts and ham,' it said 'Look at this hilarious dead frog.'
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 5
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5 Ridiculous Side Stories Starring Famous Historical Figures
If we had our way, the following stories would be page one of each of these guy's biographies.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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- 13
The Bizarre 18th-Century Secret High-Society Cult About ... Pugs?
So pug it be.
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- By Cedric Voets
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- 6
Back In The Day, Pinball Was The Most Dangerous Game In America
At one point in American history, nothing was as rebellious as, uh, pinball?
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- By Alex Hanton
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- 34
Wanted To Be Irish Royalty? All You Needed Was Nipples
Heavy lies the boobs that wears the crown.
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- By Cedric Voets
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- 12
The Historical Figure Who Invented A Country (And Got Away With It)
Sometimes if you tell hundreds of people you're the king of a far-off land, they'll just believe you.
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- By Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
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- 11
Alice Roosevelt Was Possibly Cooler Than Her Dad
It may very well have been Alice's lifelong fight for her dad's attention that led her to become a complete badass.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 28
Why Christmas Llamas Are a Thing: Death and Puns
What on Earth do llamas have to do with Christmas?
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 12
4 Famous Historical Figures (Who Were Doin' It Nonstop)
Someday we must all learn about the prodigious love life of H.G. Wells.
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- By Mark Hill
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- 14
Prussia's King Tried To Breed An Army Of Gigantic Super-Soldiers
The upside was that the pay (like the height) was well above-average. The downside was that you didn't have much of a choice.
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- By Cedric Voets
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- 12
The Forty Elephants: The Victorian-Era Bling Ring
What good is a bustle if you can't use it to hide ill-gotten gains?
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 2
