Cracked Archive - History

6 Retro Ads With Accidental Sexual Innuendos

From what we can tell, 20th century admen were either hopelessly naive or diabolically perverted. Either way, we can laugh at the fruits of their labor.

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4 Reasons to Forgive Yourself for Being a Bad Speller

It turns out that, indeed, the English language is seriously fucked up.

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The Perfect Zingers For 15 Important Historical Moments

When time travel is invented, we're going to learn a lot about ourselves as a species. We'd imagine there will be those people who try to go back and right history's wrongs, but an underestimated subset will be the folks who use it to add the perfect zinger to those moments.

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The 4 Most Impressively Weird Sex Lives of U.S. Presidents

Look, I'm not talking about regularly having sex outside. I'm talking about the weird stuff. The REALLY weird stuff.

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5 Modern Horror Scenes Ripped Out of History Books

It turns out that many iconic horror movie moments that you thought came out of the imaginations of Hollywood writers can also be found in the pages of history, hundreds or even thousands of years before it made sense for anyone to come up with them.

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6 Real Murderers Who Put Horror Movie Villains to Shame

Just in case you were considering sleeping easy this Halloween, or ever again, we're pleased to let you know that there are plenty of killers out there who would be right at home in anything John Carpenter could pull out of his ass.

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The 5 Creepiest Stories in the History of War

Just don't ever ask Grandpa if he brought back any souvenirs from the Pacific.

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17 Moments from Famous Videos (Before the CIA Got to Them)

Moments from famous video footage, as they appeared before the CIA and George Lucas altered them using computer technology they'd reverse engineered from UFOs

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NDAA: The Biggest Election Issue No One's Talking About

It turns out, you don't have to live alone in the woods, reading issues of 'Guns and Ammo' and co-writing your manifesto with beard lice, to be terrified about the state of basic freedoms in America today.

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15 Mind-Blowing Old-Timey Photos You Won't Believe Are Real

People of the past are daring us to make sense of them, and once again, we've risen boldly to the challenge.

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3 Reasons We Need to Reexamine How We Elect Presidents

With election season upon us, I'd like to take this time to let us all know that we're doing things completely wrong.

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The 5 Most Terrifying Supreme Court Decisions

The Supreme Court itself is not made up of gods or wizards. They are just people, with agendas. And sometimes they have rendered opinions that make you wonder if the whole legal system isn't just full of crazy people from the top down.

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12 Old War Photographs You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped

War, indeed, is hell. But, man -- all morality and sanctity of human life and blah blah blah aside -- sometimes it just looks plain friggin' crazy, doesn't it?

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