Cracked Archive - History

6 Soldiers Who Survived Shit That Would Kill a Terminator

The next time grandpa starts talking about how far he had to walk in the snow to school, tell him about these badasses.


5 Reasons The Founding Fathers Were Kind Of Dicks

Today's teabaggers are douchebags, sure. But they didn't have anything on our Founding Fathers.


6 Coincidences You Won't Believe Actually Happened: Update

Look, if you dig deep enough everything is an amazing coincidence. But even cynics like us have to admit these are downright freaky.


The 5 Most Widely Believed WWII Facts (That Are Bullshit)

Roosevelt DIDN'T kill the dinosaurs? Weird.


9 Inventions that Prove Leonardo da Vinci Was a Supervillain

We're positive that the Mona Lisa shoots lasers, also.


Reminder: 7 Real World Heists That Put 'Ocean's 11' to Shame

Danny Ocean might have had some big plans in his movies, but he can't hold a candle to some of history's more daring real-life thieves.


6 Enlightened Ideas Brought to You by Evil Empires

Hey, thanks, Xerxes? For everything?


7 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden in Famous Works of Art

OK, Dan Brown, you were right. There are hidden messages in old-school art. Dong messages.


8 Horribly Misguided 'Futuristic' Video Game Controllers

Just in case you need another reason to fondle your genitals.


6 Reasons Homemade Porn is a Worse Idea Than You Think

Thanks to a string of C-list celebrities and low budget websites, the idea of a home sex tape is now more reasonable than ever. Who would turn down a chance to hump on camera? Not me. Not you. Not anyone. But let this be a warning to you, some things do not belong on camera.


6 Slang Terms With Surprisingly Badass Origins

Just like superheroes, words have origin stories, and we guarantee that these six are about a thousand times less shitty than Wolverine.


The 6 Most Baffling Nobel Prizes Ever Awarded

Someone PLEASE nominate Cracked.


7 Books We Lost to History That Would Have Changed the World

If they had Internet back then, they would've never lost these books.


6 Rulers Who Abused Their Power In Hilariously Insane Ways

It probably wasn't all that awesome living under these rulers, but it's a lot of fun to read about them from afar.


6 Assassination Attempts that Almost F#@cked the World

Some assassination attempts have come dangerously close to changing the world forever. We're not saying we'd be living in a land of breakdancing dinosaurs and chocolate flavored rainbows if a few things had gone the other way ... we're just saying we might all be Nazis.