Cracked Archive - History

You Have An Ugly, Noisy Radiator Because Of Pandemic
You Have An Ugly, Noisy Radiator Because Of Pandemic

It dates back to a time when people were reeeeally close to figuring out what causes disease.

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55 Facts That Show The Past Was Absolutely Gross
55 Facts That Show The Past Was Absolutely Gross

Aren't you happy to live in the modern, hygienic world that exists today? It's infinitely better than the alternative you'd have to deal with if you lived centuries ago.

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Why Does Your Aunt Own Dumb Healing Crystals? (The Answer: Uh, Libido-Enhancing Cubicles)
Why Does Your Aunt Own Dumb Healing Crystals? (The Answer: Uh, Libido-Enhancing Cubicles)

Every stupid new age trend has to start somewhere -- in this case, in a closet full of sexy energies.

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Medieval Divorce Duels Were A Wild (But Fair) Brawl
Medieval Divorce Duels Were A Wild (But Fair) Brawl

Till death by blunt trauma do them part.

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Danishes: The Bastard Mistake Pastry No Country Wants to Claim
Danishes: The Bastard Mistake Pastry No Country Wants to Claim

France shuffled away to buy a pack of cigarettes, and that’s when labor disputes got involved.

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Victorian Christmas Cards Were Pure Merry Madness
Victorian Christmas Cards Were Pure Merry Madness

Sending someone a Christmas card didn’t say 'Hope you get a lot of gifts and ham,' it said 'Look at this hilarious dead frog.'

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5 Ridiculous Side Stories Starring Famous Historical Figures
5 Ridiculous Side Stories Starring Famous Historical Figures

If we had our way, the following stories would be page one of each of these guy's biographies.

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Back In The Day, Pinball Was The Most Dangerous Game In America
Back In The Day, Pinball Was The Most Dangerous Game In America

At one point in American history, nothing was as rebellious as, uh, pinball?

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Wanted To Be Irish Royalty? All You Needed Was Nipples
Wanted To Be Irish Royalty? All You Needed Was Nipples

Heavy lies the boobs that wears the crown.

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The Historical Figure Who Invented A Country (And Got Away With It)
The Historical Figure Who Invented A Country (And Got Away With It)

Sometimes if you tell hundreds of people you're the king of a far-off land, they'll just believe you.

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Alice Roosevelt Was Possibly Cooler Than Her Dad
Alice Roosevelt Was Possibly Cooler Than Her Dad

It may very well have been Alice's lifelong fight for her dad's attention that led her to become a complete badass.

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Why Christmas Llamas Are a Thing: Death and Puns
Why Christmas Llamas Are a Thing: Death and Puns

What on Earth do llamas have to do with Christmas?

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4 Famous Historical Figures (Who Were Doin' It Nonstop)
4 Famous Historical Figures (Who Were Doin' It Nonstop)

Someday we must all learn about the prodigious love life of H.G. Wells.

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Prussia's King Tried To Breed An Army Of Gigantic Super-Soldiers
Prussia's King Tried To Breed An Army Of Gigantic Super-Soldiers

The upside was that the pay (like the height) was well above-average. The downside was that you didn't have much of a choice.

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