Cracked Archive - History

The 6 Most Secretly Racist Classic Children's Books
The 6 Most Secretly Racist Classic Children's Books

It's easy for us to hide the bad things from our kids that appear in works today. Things get a little trickier when classics of children's literature suddenly let fly with the sort of out-of-the-blue casual racism usually reserved for old Southern men after a few too many drinks

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5 Screw-Ups on the Battlefield That Accidentally Won the War
5 Screw-Ups on the Battlefield That Accidentally Won the War

Sometimes, even in war, a little stupidity can work to your advantage.

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5 Turncoats Who Changed the Tide of History
5 Turncoats Who Changed the Tide of History

In the grand scale of things, not much changes when a single dude decides he'd rather be a Communist than an American, or vice versa. The balance of power is still basically the same, right? But every balance has a tipping point, and sometimes all it takes is one turncoat to change the course of history.

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5 Soldiers Who Kicked Ass In the Face of Death (and Logic)
5 Soldiers Who Kicked Ass In the Face of Death (and Logic)

It's generally accepted that while reckless charges into danger make for great action movie scenes, they aren't good battle strategy. These men disagreed.

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5 Insane Celebrity Product Endorsements by Historic Figures
5 Insane Celebrity Product Endorsements by Historic Figures

Selling out is an age-old tradition, and some icons from your history books were doing it long before musicians and athletes perfected the art.

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5 Facts About Thanksgiving Your History Teacher Left Out
5 Facts About Thanksgiving Your History Teacher Left Out

Everyone loves Thanksgiving, except some Native Americans, wellness consultants, and meth addicts disowned by their families. So basically: New Mexico. But which Thanksgiving do you celebrate? The one you learned in school? Or the one where all your illusions are stripped from your screaming husk in the burning light of truth you thought you wanted

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The 5 Most Mind-Blowing Acts of Battlefield Mercy in History
The 5 Most Mind-Blowing Acts of Battlefield Mercy in History

Mercy isn't a part of any army's strategy. And yet, inspiring stories of mercy on the battlefield do turn up all through history. In the most inhumane settings, sometimes a little humanity shines through.

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6 Terrifying Real Speeches That Were Thankfully Never Given
6 Terrifying Real Speeches That Were Thankfully Never Given

Just because we didn't hear speeches for when the whole country was going to shit doesn't mean they were never written ...

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5 Scientific Advances That Should Have Changed Everything
5 Scientific Advances That Should Have Changed Everything

Sometimes it's bad luck, or shady business dealings, or the fact that the world just plain isn't ready. But one way or another, we've lost world-changing innovations for, in hindsight, ridiculous reasons.

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5 Backup Plans That Would Have Changed Modern History
5 Backup Plans That Would Have Changed Modern History

These five plans remained in the back pockets of various world leaders that, had they been used, would have changed the world, and possibly the language this article was written in.

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5 Real Murderers More Terrifying Than Any Horror Movie
5 Real Murderers More Terrifying Than Any Horror Movie

There is no goofier Hollywood invention than the Flamboyant Killer. Real killers are, of course, much stranger.

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5 Real Princesses Too Badass for Disney Movies
5 Real Princesses Too Badass for Disney Movies

History is full of royal women who kicked all kinds of ass. None of them fit for a Disney movie.

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5 Rulers Whose Idiot Siblings Nearly Screwed the World
5 Rulers Whose Idiot Siblings Nearly Screwed the World

No comedy would be complete without the Wacky Screwup Brother, the Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover-type who is there to throw a wrench in everything with some sort of stupid scheme (also see: Gob Bluth from Arrested Development). It's not so funny in real life.

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