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Cracked Archive - History

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20 Terrible First Drafts of Famous Quotes

Great ideas don't just come out of people's brains fully formed, and the same goes for perfectly worded quotes. We asked you to show us the changes that took place between the first and final drafts of iconic quotes. The winner is below, but first the runners up ...

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The 5 Most Hilariously Insane Rulers of All Time

Don't get us wrong -- we're sure it was a nightmare for everyone involved. But it does make for hilarious stories down the line.

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The 6 Most Aggressively Badass Things Done by Pacifists

There's a special kind of badass out there: The kind that overcomes horrific violence with nothing but willpower, skill, bravery, and (to be totally fair) a somewhat stupid disregard for personal safety.

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The 6 Most Embarrassing War Stories of All Time

Here are a few instances of people stepping onstage in the military theater and splitting their pants in front of everyone.

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15 Unexpected Origins of Famous Ideas

We asked our readers to show us the gritty origins of some of our most famous inventions.

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6 Mind-Blowing Archeological Discoveries Destroyed by Idiocy

Here are some of the worst reasons that priceless artifacts have ever been destroyed.

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The 5 Most Mind-Blowing Military Operations Ever Kept Secret

You say the five craziest stories we've ever heard -- stories about shadow governments, sci-fi ice fortresses and nuclear obliteration -- are all from the Cold War? OK, we're listening ... for now.

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18 Unexpected (and Real) Quotes by Famous Figures

We asked our readers to go back through the annals of time (i.e. a Google search minus 'boobs') to prove that, indeed, truth is stranger than fiction.

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6 People Whose Names Took on Regrettable Meanings

Imagine having your name turned into a common word that will still be in use hundreds of years after your death. Cool, huh? Yeah, no -- not really.

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13 Emails That Shed New Light on Famous Scandals

With CIA operatives now getting busted via their gmail accounts, we started wondering why people haven't been poking around in inboxes all along.

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If Autocorrect Existed Throughout History

People love showing off all the ways that autocorrect has turned their innocent conversations into filth ridden tirades about sex with family members. We asked you to imagine a world where autocorrect has been butting in on communications throughout history.

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6 Retro Ads With Accidental Sexual Innuendos

From what we can tell, 20th century admen were either hopelessly naive or diabolically perverted. Either way, we can laugh at the fruits of their labor.

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5 Artifacts That Will Shatter Your Image of the Middle Ages

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4 Reasons to Forgive Yourself for Being a Bad Speller

It turns out that, indeed, the English language is seriously fucked up.

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The Perfect Zingers For 15 Important Historical Moments

When time travel is invented, we're going to learn a lot about ourselves as a species. We'd imagine there will be those people who try to go back and right history's wrongs, but an underestimated subset will be the folks who use it to add the perfect zinger to those moments.

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