Cracked Archive - History

The vast majority of people haven't the slightest clue what the OG law of the land actually defines.

• By Jacopo della Quercia , Abraham Mireles
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• March 10, 2016

Allowing your first daughter to be raised on welfare and a waitress income while you're swimming in money is a dick move, Apple Man.

• By Bernie Seixas
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• March 07, 2016

If only we could be like these people. If we were to suddenly find ourselves in the middle of an honest-to-God firefight, the only sick burns we'd be composing would be the ones in our underpants.

• By Adam Koski, Jorden Weir, Abraham Mireles
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• February 28, 2016

Despite believing in witches, it turns out that the colonial American judicial system was pretty intricate.

• By Pauli Poisuo
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• February 16, 2016

In 1965, inspired by the unique and controversial opinion that cigarettes were terrible, Herbert A. Gilbert set out to create a logical solution: the electronic cigarette.

• By Raoni Lacerda, Vicki Veritas
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• February 07, 2016

It's amazing how one scream out of context can tank an entire campaign, even when you're a frontrunner.

• By Mark Hill
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• January 28, 2016

If you've had a blast in Las Vegas recently, rule number one is what happened there stays there. Rule number two is you thank a mormon.

• By Anonymous, Evan V. Symon
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• January 28, 2016

Sexism brought us a whole lot of bad things, but sometimes people screwed up and they accidentally brought us things that are really nice to have.

• By Amanda Mannen
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• January 21, 2016

While they were busy getting degrees, raising families and starting careers, a civil war snuck up and slapped the people of Ukraine right in their pants.

• By Robert Evans, Anonymous, Jim Kovpak
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• January 20, 2016

The Athenians were so inundated with lawsuits that they had a special term for the sort of person who litigates if you look at them funny.

• By Gregory Maus
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• January 03, 2016

The Nazi's were like a bad tv-spinoff of America.

• By Melissa Dylan
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• December 07, 2015

Sometimes stealing a helicopter is as simple as swooping in at night and taking it while no one is looking. Seriously.

• By Michael Hossey
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• November 24, 2015

There are some lucky bastards out there whose accidental discoveries made their entire lives. The best part? They didn't even have to leave their own homes.

• By Abraham Mireles, Laura H
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• November 22, 2015

We can now add 'caring for the young of our own species' to the list of things humanity has managed to screw up.

• By C. Coville
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• November 18, 2015

'Slut' or something much worse is currently tops to degrade a female perceived as promiscuous, but 'hussy' is a close relative and once the preferred a-bomb of past a-holes.

• By Karen Baxter
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• November 12, 2015