If only we could be like these people. If we were to suddenly find ourselves in the middle of an honest-to-God firefight, the only sick burns we'd be composing would be the ones in our underpants.
These jokes have held up better in hundreds of years than Seinfeld has in 20.
Apparently Ronald Reagan saved his more unscrupulous presidential deeds for when he headed up the Screen Actors Guild.
In 1965, inspired by the unique and controversial opinion that cigarettes were terrible, Herbert A. Gilbert set out to create a logical solution: the electronic cigarette.
It's amazing how one scream out of context can tank an entire campaign, even when you're a frontrunner.
If you've had a blast in Las Vegas recently, rule number one is what happened there stays there. Rule number two is you thank a mormon.
When seeking endorsements for re-election, apparently giving out pieces of 9/11 wreckage is a good idea.
Sexism brought us a whole lot of bad things, but sometimes people screwed up and they accidentally brought us things that are really nice to have.
While they were busy getting degrees, raising families and starting careers, a civil war snuck up and slapped the people of Ukraine right in their pants.
Times change. Sometimes for the better. Sometimes for the booty-er.
When you want a woolly mammoth, the Russian mob is your first stop.
That terrifying moment when you realize your high-ranking commander is also a serial rapist and murderer.
The Athenians were so inundated with lawsuits that they had a special term for the sort of person who litigates if you look at them funny.