Someone build a time machine already.
Who says you can't condense convoluted scandals into one sentence?
According to the denizens of /r/conspiracy and your wacky aunt on Facebook, there are terrifying mysteries unfolding all around us, all the time. These people clearly don't use Google.
It's time to learn from the masters.
Kiyo Sato was an 18-year-old Japanese-American living in Sacramento when WWII broke out and the government decided she and her family couldn't be trusted.
We love our serial killers in one of two flavors -- dead, or in prison. But not the third flavor: the ones who do their thing for years, or even decades, without ever getting caught.
Sometimes genius comes as a result of depressing, horrifying childhood trauma.
These idiots would probably still be free today if they'd simply cashed their (considerable) chips in while they were ahead.
You see, back in the day, the Fourth of July was more or less the holiday equivalent of smashing your own face with a beer bottle and uppercutting Benedict Arnold.
If we're being totally honest with ourselves, presidential elections have historically been kind of a shitshow.
Our parents, grandparents and assorted ancestors were subjected to such random, insane dating clauses that they might as well have been a completely different species.
Laughing gas wasn't used for anything surgical for about 70 years after its synthesis.
Las Vegas is depressing its residents to death.
Apparently assassins and hashish go hand-in-hand.
Hollywood didn't give Patton his profanity-laced due.