Cracked Archive - History

6 Famous Explorers Who Shaped The World (With Insane Lies)
Contrary to what NASA tells you, simply being the first white guy to walk on something does not earn you a free ride. No, the real rewards only come if you can whip the masses up into an orgiastic frenzy of greed. Like these guys.
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- By Andrew Dunham
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389
5 People Who Changed the World From Inside of Prison
While avoiding some angry male on male action and daily shankings, these guys influenced the course of history.
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- By Bronzulton Q
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451
6 Historic Acts of Revenge That Put 'Kill Bill' to Shame
If you think epic vengeance is restricted to cheesy movies then you have a lot of history to learn.
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- By Jacopo della Quercia
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557
5 Economic Collapses More Ridiculous Than This One
History is full of economic idiocy, and here are five economic collapses that make 2010 feel like the Renaissance.
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- By Matthew Hayden
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343
6 Soldiers Who Survived Shit That Would Kill a Terminator
The next time grandpa starts talking about how far he had to walk in the snow to school, tell him about these badasses.
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- By Paul K Pickett
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470
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5 Reasons The Founding Fathers Were Kind Of Dicks
Today's teabaggers are douchebags, sure. But they didn't have anything on our Founding Fathers.
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- By Lola C.
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1202
6 Coincidences You Won't Believe Actually Happened: Update
Look, if you dig deep enough everything is an amazing coincidence. But even cynics like us have to admit these are downright freaky.
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- By Jacopo della Quercia
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1150
The 5 Most Widely Believed WWII Facts (That Are Bullshit)
Roosevelt DIDN'T kill the dinosaurs? Weird.
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- By Jacopo della Quercia
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3392
9 Inventions that Prove Leonardo da Vinci Was a Supervillain
We're positive that the Mona Lisa shoots lasers, also.
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- By Jacopo della Quercia
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323
Reminder: 7 Real World Heists That Put 'Ocean's 11' to Shame
Danny Ocean might have had some big plans in his movies, but he can't hold a candle to some of history's more daring real-life thieves.
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- By Jacopo della Quercia
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212
6 Enlightened Ideas Brought to You by Evil Empires
Hey, thanks, Xerxes? For everything?
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- By Jacopo della Quercia , CRACKED Staff
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818
7 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden in Famous Works of Art
OK, Dan Brown, you were right. There are hidden messages in old-school art. Dong messages.
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- By Jacopo della Quercia
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635
8 Horribly Misguided 'Futuristic' Video Game Controllers
Just in case you need another reason to fondle your genitals.
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- By Matthew Hayden
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162
6 Reasons Homemade Porn is a Worse Idea Than You Think
Thanks to a string of C-list celebrities and low budget websites, the idea of a home sex tape is now more reasonable than ever. Who would turn down a chance to hump on camera? Not me. Not you. Not anyone. But let this be a warning to you, some things do not belong on camera.
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- By Ian Fortey
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472
6 Slang Terms With Surprisingly Badass Origins
Just like superheroes, words have origin stories, and we guarantee that these six are about a thousand times less shitty than Wolverine.
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- By JD Niemand
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202