Recycling is something everyone should do, or at least something that everyone should feel vaguely guilty about not doing. Whatever's easier...

Recycling and You

Recycling is a noble endeavor that we can all agree is necessary; if not to save the planet, then at least to curb waste and preserve resources. Recycling is an inherently good and selfless thing, and all recycling asks of you in return is that, before you throw something away, you carefully assess and evaluate your garbage, break it down into its core components, gently but thoroughly bathe it, organize and catalog it, take it on long walks by the beach, hold it tenderly while whispering reassuring platitudes to it, participate in at least one outdoor activity with it per day, join in its personal growth however possible (hey, maybe you could take some night classes down at the community college together!) and settle for substandard paper products.

Or you could just throw it in the garbage. The garbage understands; the garbage accepts you for who you are; the garbage wouldn't change you for the world, baby.