Proposition 19 is a California ballot proposition which would legalize various marijuana-related activities. The latest polls show it at 51% approval, which would be just enough to get it passed, were it not for the following groups of people ...

Prop 19

A large majority of California's population cares for hippies about as much as Nixon (born there) Reagan (launched his political career there) and Harry Callahan (killed 30% of San Francisco's population in the 70s).

Fortunately for people with Glaucoma, an overwhelming percentage of whom happen to be actor-waiters from the greater Los Angeles area, the state has managed its budget with the efficiency of a stoned teenager who wasn't that bright to begin with. This is the major reason many non-pot smokers are backing the initiative. After all, marijuana is already Kentucky's second largest cash crop, a fact the "Yes on 19" crowd would probably bring up a lot more if sadness and NASCAR beer koozies weren't third and forth.

So with the odds stacked against the pot heads, how do you turn the tide against the stick-in-the-muds who don't want marijuana to be legal? Remind them of 3 simple things that will change if marijuana is decriminalized:

1) It will free up the cops, the courts, and the jails of having to deal with people who's only real crime is having too many episodes of SpongeBob on the TiVo.

2) Once it's legal, it can be taxed, and 57.7% of California's budget is spent on education. So all those burn outs blazing one up on thier couch would now be helping the children.

3) The most compelling argument...if you legalize marijuana, Michael Phelps is a hero again!

TimBabbComedian is a Stand-up Comic, Podcaster, & Full-time Failure. Check him out at