Kenny Loggins is an American artist who makes music that improves movies.

Just The Facts

  1. Kenny Loggins is his own category of awesome.
  2. Because of his extreme awesomeness, Kenny Loggins's music can make anything inspirational, or awesome, or both.
  3. In some religions and cultures, not getting inspired by Loggins's music is considered a sign of not having a soul.

Cracked on Kenny Loggins

Kenny Loggins used to play together with Jim Messina, a man who was far less prepared for the 80s in the categories of "awesome beard" and "being named Kenny."

One of these men is on his way to the Danger Zone.

Kenny Loggins has polished several movie turds into the screen classics that they are today with his awe-inspiring music. In the 80s, the leading cause of blindness was looking at Kenny Loggins without sunglasses on.

In 1980, Kenny Loggins shot into some derivation of fame with his contributions to the soundtrack of Caddyshack, setting a new standard for movie music at the same time.

He followed that up by making several classic movie songs for films like Top Gun and Footloose. Loggins's music is believed to have been the decisive factor that made audiences unable to detect how gay those movies were.

Then, in 1988, Loggins made the same fatal mistake as Chevy Chase and signed on for the sequel to Caddyshack, cleverly named Caddyshack II. The movie would end the artist's eight year run as the number one soundtrack provider.

WARNING: The amazing effects of Kenny Loggins's awesomeness do not work outside of the 80s.