Beach volleyball is a sport. With boobies.

Just The Facts

  1. It would appear that the object of the game is to hit the volleyball over the net and ground it on the other side of the net to gain points.
  2. The real objective, however, is to see how long you can oogle gorgeous women in bikinis before anyone realizes you are paying no attention whatsoever to the game.
  3. There is also men's beach volleyball. Men's beach volleyball is for queers.

The History of Beach Volleyball

The first recorded beach volleyball game took place in Waikiki, Hawaii. The sport was popularized in Southern California. Analysts blame the lack of beautiful, tanned women in bikinis in states such as New Jersey.

Pictured: Your nightmares for the next twenty years.

The game skyrocketed in popularity when men came to the realization that this was a chance for them to be able to stare at hot women in bikinis running around for a while and not get called perverts. Tennis has also seen a rise in popularity due to this trend, but beach volleyball players are wearing much less than tennis players. Plus, the chance of a top coming off is significantly higher than in tennis.

Rules of Play

Before starting a game of beach volleyball, there are two very important things players must do:

1. Stretch out. Preliminary stretching both loosens one's muscles to make them more flexible and agile, but also prevents muscle injuries.

A fine example of proper streching.

Aw yeah, strech that back out.

2. Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of water in order to prevent dehydration.

Water consumption is crucial.

Water can also be used for cooling down and looking sexy.

Now hit the ball over the net. I don't really know what happens here, but I'm guessing whichever team looks hotter wins. Or something like that.

Reasons To Watch Beach Volleyball


I'm not even going to put a pic here.

2. Beach volleyball is a very interesting and complex sport.


Nah, just kidding about that last one. It's pretty much all about the scantily clad girls.