Videogames are based on street fighting, jetski racing and secret agency all being controlled by the same buttons. They all control thusly (with slight deviations):

Just The Facts

  1. Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
  2. Microsoft and Sony mocked Nintendo for using motion controls. After approximately infinity-billion Wii sales, they built motion controls.
  3. Quicktime events give the latest in gaming all the thrilling interactivity of a DVD player.

Evolution of controllers

Controllers have been evolving since the first Pong paddles, asking questions such as "How can we simulate the true impact of violence and death?" (make it shake a bit), "How can we make more money?" (only ship one damn controller with the console) and "How can you effectively control a first-person-shooter without a mouse?" (you can't).

Nintendo daringly released a new kind of controller, and even more daringly released it before it worked properly, and outright-fuck-you-daringly offered to sell the missing parts years later for more money. Microsoft, meanwhile eventually mastered making controllers smaller than a tank, while Sony - well, we tried to find a PS3 owner to ask but couldn't.