Genesis 4:20 "...And God put a quarter in the plastic egg machine and the toy inside was man."

Unable to maintain his medical costs, the Bubble Boy's parents tried unsuccessfully to drown him.

Jim didn't fool around when it came to safe sex.

At this point Michael Phelps is just showing off.

Just remember kids, this is what you can do with a liberal arts degree.

There must be a fire at Macy's. The manikins don't hit the escape pods for the hell of it.

Good news: Hamsters have Fairy Godmothers. Bad news: Hamsters make really stupid wishes.

Sometimes you just wish you had ninja stars

Didn't we just see a black guy in a red jumpsuit inside a clear container the other day? Leave it to a white guy to take something cool a black guy is doing and turn it into bleached douchebaggery

And that’s why you don’t fart in a wet suit

Shunned by the Justice League and limited in his superpowers, AquaGerbilman nevertheless rushed, once again, to stately Gere Mansion to save Richard from another embarrassing "situation".

Jesus became very upset after his method of walking on water was revealed....

Man in bubble = art Man in bubble filled with rattlesnakes = entertainment

this still looks less stupid than a Segway

In Soviet Russia, ball has you.