"YOU CHOOSE NOW!""It velly simple, you rike baby? pick baby. you no rike baby, we frush baby, new one come 5 or 10 minute"

This is why China is going to win the Olympics this year.

I have no idea what they're betting on here, but China sure has a gambling problem.

"Mommy, how are babies made?" "Well, Maddox. When a man and a woman really love each other they go to a deprived Asian country and select a photogenic baby from a...well...let's call it a store."

With the tightening of the one-child policy, the birth of twins became an increasingly bizarre competition.

You know, you’re in your kitchen, not bothering anyone washing your space babies, and people just can’t mind their own fucking business

China is taking the Olympic games more seriously than ever by beginning training immediately after birth. The newest rising star, Zao Xhing, is a preemie.

So being right at the equator, we can demonstrate how the baby to one side of the equator is going down the drain in a clock wise motion, while the other goes down in a counter-clockwise motion!

The zoos in China still leave a lot to be desired

Flashing his gang sign, little Jimmy Choo recognizes one of his own.

In the style of Red Lobster, some restaurants allow you to pick your entre fresh from the tank.

"Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. 13-footer."

Pictured: The horrifying result of cheaply made Chinese contraceptive devices.

LEARN calculus in the next 5 minutes or I deflate your flotation device!

In an attempt to update Buddhism for the new millennium, the next Dalai Lama was selected not according to birth, but according to buoyancy.