Where's Aquaman the ONE time you actually need him?

NBC4's traffic crab has the report from downtown, over to you, Bob.

Three years on, there remain tell-tale signs of flooding in New Orleans.

You can either use medicated shampoo on your office building twice a day, or use this special comb.

"Spidercrab, spidercrab..."

Oh shit! Not again. How the Hell does he keep getting up there?

We're gonna need a LOT of old bay, newspaper, and a pretty big mallet...

"Detective, we may have a lead on the case of the missing window cleaners..."

I'm sick of these MOTHERFUCKING crabs on this MOTHERFUCKING building.

With job opportunities drying up after The Little Mermaid, Sebastian decided it was time to end things.

With smog and over-population already threatening the future of the Olympic games, China cursed their luck when they found out that their buildings were getting crabs.

"I said call me a CAB, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this thing"

Paris Hilton even gave the HOTEL crabs. . .

Damn, all the good puns are taken... ...How shellfish.

YOU IDIOT! This is Red LOBSTER corporate headquarters.