The U.S. military is now developing a $30,000,000 stick to put through the spokes.

It seems like only days ago the Mayans were riding those ridiculous wooden scooters.

Mr. Garrison is going to be pissed that the North Koreans got their hands on IT.

The Wheel of The Soldier Of Fortune.

Cirque de Seoul, eh?

The Chinese military prepares to invade the Island of Misfit Toys.

However, they soon approached their greatest adversary...the slightly-inclined ramp

That's strange...I just see a bunch of red, yellow and blue wheels rolling around by themselves...

A Scene From "Tiananmen Square: The Musical"

Yeah, well what the FUCK have you invented lately?

You nutty Asians... Enjoy your cheap, economical wheels. Meanwhile, America will be designing crazy, over-sized wheels to compensate for our tiny genitalia.

"This intellegence can't be correct!" "Mr. President, we have photographic proof: China has aquired wheel technology. The bamboo curtain has fallen."

When they cycle really fast, their enemies go into an epileptic fit.

Soon there would be huge,military grade hamsters...soon.

Should gays ever be fully accepted in the military, the Pentagon already has a plan.