"Dude this machine is swee... What the fuck, a CASSETTE deck???"

"Sir the Robospider first quarter figures are in... people are saying it's good but it's just not evil enough" "Can we convert it to run on the corpses of dead babies?" "Now THAT is why you're the CEO of Deathstruco Industries sir!"

ALL YOUR TREE ARE BELONG TO US

Somehow chopping down trees in Japan just seems a little more fun than over here

You just know that there is a bumper sticker on the back of this reading, "got wood!?"

After failing to make Cracked.com's "Most Evil Robot" list, Scorpio the Lumberjack vented his frustration the only way he knew how.

What do you get when you cross a tractor, a scorpion and a chain saw? I don't know either, but IT'S EATING MY BACKYARD!!

Robo-Chihuahua was cute and fun to play with, but playing fetch with the giant Robo-Scorpion was pretty intense

Sure, Steven could have used a chain-saw, but then he would have to leave the comfort that only a monstrous robot can give you.

This week on Good Eats, Alton Brown turns cooking hot dogs into a goddamn nightmare.

Even female Transformers are horrible drivers

"Pimp My Ride" has really lost touch with reality.

No Mr.Tree, I expect you to die!

Jerry was supposed to buy a $12.99 axe to deal with one small tree. Tim Allen would be proud, but Jerry's wife was going to be fucking pissed.

--Dude, isn't this a bit excessive? --He stole my wife and kids, Jim. --...but it was a squirr-- --From hell Jim, from hell.